More Than A Feeling
by I'veGotAnotherConfessionToMake
Summary: What happens when Hermione stumbles into Moaning Mrytle's bathroom and discovers Draco's secret? Plus, what will Draco feel when he discovers Hermione's as well? REVISED!
1. Not What I Bargained For

**SUMMARY: DRACO MALFOY HAS A SECRET. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HERMIONE GRANGER STEPS INTO MOANING MRYTLES BATHROOM TO TRY AND GET AWAY FROM IT ALL AND ENDS UP GETTING HERSELF INTO MORE THAN SHE'D BARGAINED FOR? PLUS, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN MALFOY DISCOVERS HERMIONES SECRET AS WELL? HOW WILL HE REACT?**

**DISCLAIMER: ONLY THE PLOT!**

Chapter One: More Than I'd Bargained For

Hermione Granger wiped a stray tear away from her eye and hugged Ron tighter. It was December, Christmas vacation and two weeks till St. Nick's Day.

"Come with me, Hermione," Ron said, breaking away. "Home just won't be the same without you there."

"Yes, there'll be too much empty space now that Pothead and Mudblood aren't coming along. But wait, I guess Pothead can't really go anywhere anymore anyways." Draco Malfoy said as he passed by on his way back towards the carriages.

"Shove off, Malfoy!" Ron said angrily.

Malfoy sneered. "Gladly."

Hermione watched Malfoy go for a moment longer and before she turned back to Ron. "I can't go. There are too many memories there."

Solemnly, Ron nodded his head. The train whistle blew signaling to everyone leaving that it was time to go. Ron gave Hermione a last fleeting hug before turning away towards the train. As if on a second thought he turned and faced her again.

"Sure you'll be okay?"

Smiling Hermione said, "Yes Ron. Now go! I'll be waiting when you get back!"

Ron turned and ran to one of the doors as the train groaned and took a starting lurch forward. Neville Longbottom opened the door and extended a hand to help Ron up. Taking it, Ron heaved himself in. Closing the door, Hermione saw him place a hand on the glass. Hermione raised her own hand in response as billows of smoke engulfed the train.

The train continued to gain speed until it was nothing more than a scarlet snake curling around the mountainside and then, it was gone. Just like that.

Hermione turned her back to the mountains and the retreating train and pulled her coat tight around her body. Tiny snowflakes fell from the sky landing on Hermione's face and getting caught on her hair. Running slightly, Hermione opened the door to an unoccupied carriage and climbed in. Curling her arms around her body, Hermione watched through the tiny window as the first carriage began to move forward, causing a chain reaction with the ones behind it. As the school drew closer, Hermione couldn't help but get the feeling that something bad or maybe just different was going to happen. But for her, the worst had already happened.

qpqpqpqp

Hermione settled down at the Gryffindor table and took short breaths so as not to breathe in too much of the smell of food. She was determined to eat today. She pilled chicken and potatoes and biscuits onto her plate and filled her cup to the brim with pumpkin juice. Hermione began to cut her chicken into bite sized pieces while looking around the Great Hall. There were a few Ravenclaws left, about five and all of them were of the younger years. There were no Hufflepuffs and absolutely no Gryffindors beside herself. Hermione placed a bite of chicken into her mouth and began to chew, savoring the warm juices as they mingled over her tongue as she looked over at the Slytherin and saw Malfoy. Just Malfoy. There were no other people left in the school, other than the teachers of course, and Hermione began to think that the school just wasn't big enough to keep her away from meeting Malfoy in some dark corridor and being hexed into oblivion.

"Yeah, right," Hermione said, forking some potatoes and placing them in her mouth. She ate hurriedly, because she never knew when the nausea would hit. It was pointless to eat so much especially since she would just puke it all back up anyways. Hermione cleared her plate and took a tentative sip of juice. She could feel her stomach lurch as the smell of fried mushrooms mixed with the usually wonderful smell of cherry pie wafted through her nostrils. Placing a hand over her mouth Hermione ran from the Great hall. She ran to the nearest bathroom which just happened to be moaning myrtles bath on the second floor. Throwing open the door, Hermione ran to the first stall and coughed as the vile liquid rushed out of her mouth.

Falling back away from the toilet, Hermione curled her feet underneath her. She took a handful of toilet paper and began to wipe at her mouth as the bathroom door was opened and a set of feet trudged along the floor. Hermione backed away from the stall door and listened as someone paused in front of the sinks. Placing her hands on the cool marble floor, Hermione eased down and peered under the wooden stall at the sinks. She could see a black robe and the feet of whoever it was that was standing at the sink. Crouching into a more comfortable position, Hermione watched and listened as a gasp came from the person's lips and a silver knife fell to the ground. Hermione had to bite her tongue to keep from screaming as a small trail of blood streamed off of the knife towards the drain next to the toilets.

Standing Hermione opened the door and stepped out just as the person fell to the ground, ruby red blood staining the white of his robes.

"Malfoy!" Hermione yelled as she stopped, staring down at him.

Draco Malfoy stared up at Hermione with an impassive look. His face was paling considerably, which was a lot to say. Hermione sank down to her knees as Malfoy's eyes fluttered closed. She took her wand from her back pocket and said a small spell closing the large gashes on his pale wrists. Racking her brain, Hermione tried to remember a spell she had read about significant blood loss and what to do if you're ever caught alone in the woods with open gashes all over you.

"Think, Hermione, think!" Suddenly it came to her. Poking a small prick on her finger Hermione said an incantation and watched as her blood disappeared and then looking at Malfoy's body she saw that his skin was resembling something other than that of a ghost.

Blinking, Malfoy opened his eyes and cast an angry glance around the room. When his gaze fell on Hermione, he lashed out, grasping her throat and proceeded to choke her. Surprised, Hermione fell back slightly, taking Malfoy with her. He sat on her, causing whatever breath was left to leave her body with a _whoosh_.

"Malfoy…" Hermione sputtered. She could feel the blood pounding in her ears. Her lungs ached with lack of oxygen and there were black dots in front of her eyes.

There was the sound of a loud crash and just as soon as he had started, Malfoy let go of her neck. Hermione's head fell to the ground with a resounding thud. Malfoy looked around to see Moaning Myrtle had made an attempt to explode a toilet and only succeeded in breaking the porcelain top. Surprised, Myrtle nose dived into the toilet she had attempted to destroy and gurgled a scream from somewhere in the u-bend.

Turning back to Hermione, Malfoy clutched a handful of her hair, just as Hermione began to heave and choke on the bile rising in her throat. Swallowing, Hermione looked into cold, grey eyes and wished that she'd left him for dead.

"Why did you stop me?" Malfoy whispered a vice-like grip on Hermione's brown curls.

"Oww! That really hurts!" Hermione said, grasping and scratching at Malfoy's hands.

"Answer me! Why did you stop me?"

When Hermione did not answer, Malfoy released her hair and pushed her back on the ground. He leaned over her, his eyes sparkling dangerously. "Tell me, Mudblood."

Hermione scratched at Malfoy's face, spreading a long scrape with her fingertip as she grazed his skin. At first, Malfoy seemed too stunned to do anything, but as it began to dawn on him what Hermione had done, he bent back over her and grabbed her face with his hand, holding it firmly in place so that they were eye to eye.

"Do it again, Muddy. I dare you." Malfoy's eyes glittered maliciously. Hermione squirmed under his weight. She pushed at his shoulders, trying to ease him back so she could be rid of him. Hermione stopped trying, her breaths short and irregular.

"Look," she began. "I was trying to do a nice thing here! Why do you have to kill me in return? So that you'll know that no one knows that the infamous Draco Malfoy is suicidal?"

"Hadn't thought of it quite like that, but that seems to be just about right." Malfoy reached for her neck again when Hermione released a scream so loud it could have shaken the castle walls. There was a thudding echo of a door being thrown open. Both teens stared at the door as footsteps ran down the hall, coming faster and closer to the bathroom. Malfoy stood and yanked Hermione from the ground with him. Placing a silencing charm on Hermione, Malfoy pulled her into a dark alcove next to one of the windows and placed a disillusionment charm on the both of them. "This'll be fun!" Malfoy said in mock happiness as Hermione rolled her eyes and attempted to make a run for it. But as she was quick to find out, Malfoy had better reflexes than even Harry and wasn't what people would call slow upstairs.

"I wouldn't try going anywhere, Granger. No one can see you and I'm the only one who can take that charm off of you." Malfoy said in a whisper as the bathroom door was thrown open and in came McGonagall and Snape.

Hermione relaxed unconsciously into Malfoy's body who in turn looked at her in surprise.

_Is she giving up? What has she got to loose? _Malfoy thought as the two professors did a quick glance around the bathroom and finding nothing left in search of where ever it was the scream had come from. The door echoed around the stone room and Malfoy took a step away. He said, finite incantatum and the spell was released both teens seemingly reappearing out of mid-air. Hermione held her hands on the small of her stomach and slid down the wall to the floor.

Malfoy stepped up to the sinks and grabbed the little knife from the floor. It was amazing that the professors hadn't seen it. He waved his wand at the trail of his own blood, swallowing the acidy taste back down his throat. Grasping the knife, Malfoy turned back to Hermione and saw that she was biting her tongue and squeezing her eyes shut as though she was trying not to cry.

"What's got you all sentimental, Granger?" Malfoy said, pocketing the silver blade and squatting in front of the weary girl.

Hermione opened her eyes and saw two grey eyes that looked as though they were making fun of her.

"Afraid that the bad ol' Death Eater is going to hurt you?"

"No. I'm not afraid of any stupid seventeen year old boy who doesn't even know how to deal with his own problems. What would you do to me Malfoy? End my already miserable life for your own sick, perverted enjoyment?" Hermione said, malice taking control of her usually warm brown eyes.

Draco mentally fell back in surprise. On the outside though he was seething mad. "Where do you come off talking to me like that?"

"And who exactly are you?" Hermione shot back.

"I'm Draco Malfoy, pure-"

"Yes, yes we know that whole pureblooded Malfoy heir thing, death eater who follows a deranged man and doesn't know the kindness of anyone. But, what I'm really asking is, who is the real Draco Malfoy? The one behind the façade? Or is there a façade?" Hermione said, her cheeks wet with tears.

For the first time in maybe forever, Malfoy had no idea what to say. Granger never ceased in amazing him. First he had threatened her and nearly killed her, and yet she sat there with as much malice as he, himself and proclaimed that she didn't fear him? She should fear him; fear everything that had to do with him. Granger should fear for her life whenever she saw him. And as he thought of that, he began to respect her. She was just a dirty mudblood, but she was brave, even he couldn't blame it on her muddy veins.

"I'm not what you think I am," Malfoy said finally.

Hermione cocked her head to one side and said with an arched eyebrow and a skeptic look, "Than what are you?"

"I'm…" Malfoy didn't know what he was.

He was mean and cruel, but he could be nice if he tried. And I mean really tried to be nice. He was a death eater but he had never murdered anyone, not even an animal. True he followed Voldemort but more out of fear than anything else. He hated being controlled, but he allowed himself to be in everything outside of school. He hated the way Granger was so smart and didn't rub it in everyone's face. He hated how she had a good life while he had a horrible one. He hated the way he had made himself into some sort of monster when he was anything but. True he was no saint, but he wasn't a blood-sucking fiend either.

"Do you even know yourself?" Hermione said, her eyebrows furrowed together.

Standing, Hermione looked down on him and for the first time in her life felt like something other than a filthy mudblood in front of Draco Malfoy. She strode over to the sink and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy. Hermione splashed some cold water on her face and dabbed it dry with one of the towels. Turning she took one last glance at Malfoy and made her way over to the door.

"I'm really not suicidal," came a small voice from behind her. Hermione turned and saw that Malfoy had stood and was now standing by the rows of sinks. He looked like a child, so young and almost innocent, though anything but.

"Why?"

Malfoy gave her a weird look. "Am I supposed to be?"

"No, that's not what I meant. Why are you telling me you're not suicidal when I save your life while you were trying to kill yourself?" Hermione said, turning and crossing her arms.

"I was just confused. I mean everything is lost, my family honor is ruined," Malfoy said leaning against one of the sinks.

Hermione looked at the ground, a slight smile on her lips. When she looked back up though, Malfoy was giving her a look of pure loathing. The smile was gone before anyone could blink twice. Hermione took a few tentative steps towards Malfoy and said,

"Maybe you should save the honor of your family by being something other than what everyone else thinks you are. Restore what it is that people once thought of your family. Just leave out the whole Dark Arts and Voldemort thing." Hermione said, clasping her hands before her. Malfoy gave her a strange look.

"Granger, I'm not sure if you realize it but that's what my family is."

"Ok, well, is that what you want?"

Malfoy looked at the ground, gazing for a second at Hermione's scuffed Mary Jane's. "I guess…"

Unclasping her hands, Hermione turned and left for the door, she pulled it open and said over her shoulder to Malfoy who was still leaning on the sinks, though he was watching her leave, "When you figure out what it is that you want to be, tell me, because for some unknown reason I really am interested."

Hermione left the bathroom in a swish of black robes, hurrying down the hallway with a sense of uneasiness. She rounded the corner and fell back against the wall. Clutching at her throat, Hermione couldn't get over what had almost happened. She'd known Malfoy to be threatening and even vile, but never murderous. Hermione placed her hands on her lower abdomen and the slight bulge of tummy there. Silently, Hermione slid down the cold stone as new tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes in a stream stopping at the neck of her robes.

"Harry, you bastard." Hermione whispered into the night. She wiped her hand angrily at her tears and cursed Harry's name again.

A loud banging noise echoed down the deserted hall and Hermione stood quickly listening as quick footsteps walked down the opposite way. Peering around the corner, Hermione saw Malfoy's retreating figure disappear into the darkness that seemed to consume him.

Turning away, Hermione walked down the corridor she was standing in and walked the long lonely path to Gryffindor tower. She said the password to the Fat Lady who was joined with Violet the portrait from a few halls over and trudged across the common room to the girl's staircase. It felt oddly strange and yet welcoming to be the only one left in the tower. She could make as much noise as she wanted and there was no one to yell at her for it. Hermione opened the door to her dormitory and crawled into her four poster fully dressed. Closing her eyes, Hermione thought on the last moments of one of her best friend's life. He was so selfish and yet he wasn't when it came to some certain matters.

"I hate you Harry, and I hate everything you've left behind for me to handle. I hate you so much!" Hermione cried into her pillow. She grasped the edges and curled the pillow out of shape. She beat at it and yelled into the darkness until she had a sore throat and there were no more tears left to cry. Curling her knees to her chest, Hermione wished she had never wandered into that room and found him so scared and needing. She wished she had just stayed away and let someone else go out and find him. But there are so many things she wished she could take back now but would never get the chance.

Hermione closed her eyes as hiccups sprang up from her throat. She sighed and pulled her blankets on her body with one arm. Her thoughts were still on Harry and how much she hated him when suddenly Harry was replaced with Malfoy. She couldn't help but think of how much he had told her in the bathroom. Though it scared her when she first thought it, Hermione was accosted with the feeling of trust, and for the first time in a long time, need. It scared her that she could feel so much for someone who had treated her like shit for most all her life. Hermione drifted off with the thoughts of Malfoy and herself in the bathroom just talking about nothing in particular.


	2. Who Did It To You?

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!

Chapter Two: Thank You

Hermione awoke the next morning with a layer of crust on her eyes from having falling asleep crying. She rubbed it away as she sat up in bed and leaned against the headboard. Throwing aside the covers, Hermione stood and unclasped her robes, laying them across her bed. Walking in her white oxford and wrinkled pleated skirt to the bathroom Hermione switched on the lights and started a shower. She went over to the sinks and unbuttoned her shirt, letting it fall to the ground along with her skirt. She stood sideways and looked at her reflection. Her stomach was rounded a little above her hips. You could finally tell what was happening to her.

"I can't believe this is happening to me…" Hermione said as she undid her bra and stepped into the shower. The hot water cascaded over her body relaxing Hermione even further. She opened the cap on her shampoo and squirted some of the coconut smelling liquid into her open palm. Rubbing her hands through her hair, Hermione lathered the shampoo into her curls.

"_Hermione_…"

Hermione stopped, her arms over her head rinsing the shampoo from her hair. Poking her head out from behind the curtain, Hermione peered around the room. There was no one there and yet, she was sure she had heard her name. Dismissing the sound for something of her imagination, Hermione continued showering. Replacing the bar of soap and rinsing off, finishing her shower.

Turning off the tap, Hermione wrapped a towel around her body and stepped out of the cubicle. She wrapped her fingers around her hair, wringing out the excess water.

Stepping up to the mirror, Hermione looked at her face and at how young she looked. Her eyes were still swollen and her hair hung in lank curls down her back and over her gaunt shoulders.

"_Hermione… Come here, Hermione…" _

Whipping around, Hermione looked widely around the room. Closing her eyes, Hermione fell to the floor, willing that voice to go away. She squeezed her eyes shut as a memory came into view.

"_Harry?" Hermione said opening the door to the tiny room he kept at Black Manor._

"_Hermione…" he said, looking up. He held out his hand and said, "Come here, Hermione, please…"_

_Hermione smiled slightly and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. Harry stood and walked across the room towards her._

"_I need to talk to you, Hermione. It's really important and I want you to know how I feel."_

"_Ok."_

Shaking her head, Hermione willed the memory away and marched out of the bathroom. She dressed rather quickly in a pair of jeans, a loose baby doll shirt and a pair of ballet flats before twisting her hair into a bun and grabbing a sweater and leaving the room for the Great Hall and breakfast.

Once she had made it into the halls, Hermione shoved her arms into her sweater and buttoned one of the middle buttons. She could hear her name echoing through the halls. The voice coming louder and louder as Hermione quickened her step and turned a corner rather unexpectedly.

"Hermione!"

"Leave me alone!" Hermione yelled whipping around and seeing a rather bewildered Malfoy.

"God, Granger. Bit tense this morning aren't we?" Malfoy said, smirking a little bit. He looked Hermione up and down and said, "Walk with me?"

Not quite sure what to make of the fact that Malfoy had not only checked her out but also asked her to walk with him, Hermione replied with the only ting she could think f at the time. "Sure," Hermione said walking beside Malfoy as he steered her towards the Great Hall.

"I've been calling your name since the end of the corridor, what's wrong with you? I don't think I've ever seen you so distracted, ever," Malfoy said. "Usually you seem like you're afraid to miss some stupid fact that nobody else in the right state of mind would care about."

"Yes," Hermione began. "But you don't really know me do you, Malfoy?"

"True…" Malfoy was quiet as they neared the Great Hall. "I figured out something else."

"Something else of what?" Hermione said taking a side long glance at the teen beside her.

"About who I really am."

"Oh? And what did you find out?"

Malfoy took a deep breath and let it out slow. His face was impassive. The pale flesh stretched over his defined cheekbones. Hermione took it all in at a glance. He looked and seemed different. And Hermione wasn't too sure that she liked it at all.

"I'm not cruel like everyone thinks I am. I mean, I'm not nice and I don't think that I ever really will be, but I'm not one for torture and murder." Malfoy cast a sidelong look at Hermione who had crossed her arms and was staring ahead. For one reason or another, he wanted to know what she thought about it all.

"Well," Hermione began slowly. "How are you going to prove that?"

"I have to prove it?"

Hermione stopped walking as did Malfoy. "How are people going to know that you're not a murderous fool if you don't prove that you aren't one?"

Draco bit his lower lip with a frustrated look on his face. "I don't know."

"Well, that's something to think about," Hermione said as she began to walk towards the staircase leading down to the entrance hall. As she neared the top most stair, Hermione heard Malfoy call,

"Wait, Granger!"

Turning, Hermione saw Malfoy running slightly towards her trying to catch up.

"What?"

"How do I do that?" Draco's eyes glittered silver for a moment, for when Hermione blinked twice, it was gone. Just like that.

"I don't know, Malfoy. Just take the moment whenever you feel that it's the right time." Hermione said, sighing deeply.

"How will I know it's the right time?"

"Like I said," Hermione said as she began to walk again down the stairs. "You'll _feel_ it."

Hermione continued down the stairs and once she had reached the bottom she heard Malfoy start his descent. The entrance hall was empty as Hermione opened the doors to the Great Hall and stopped in her tracks. Instead of the house tables, there was one long table in the middle of the room. All of the professors and the students that were left behind for the Christmas holidays sat at the table eating breakfast and talking amongst their friends. Malfoy entered the hall and stopped a step behind Hermione.

"Ah," Dumbledore said, standing from his place in the center. "Come here and join us! There was no use in bothering with the house tables since there are so few of us."

Malfoy walked around Hermione and proceeded to one of the two chairs left. Obviously his hunger was other throwing his need to be picky over where he sat.

"Miss Granger?" Dumbledore said, motioning to the only chair left next to Malfoy.

Hermione took a few steps forward and then quickening her pace as she thought of how stupid she was acting and walked over to the chair and sat down on Malfoy's left. Malfoy looked at her with disdain which Hermione figured was over their conversation in the hall.

The aroma of bacon and eggs mingled with pancakes and sausages and other food items descended upon Hermione as she sat in the hard wooden chair and looked at her golden plate. Standing suddenly, Hermione pushed her chair back, placed a hand over her mouth and promptly left the Great Hall. Malfoy with his fork still in his mouth turned and watched her go. Shrugging his shoulders, he turned back to his food and looked down the table at Professor Dumbledore. The old man had a curious look on his face and as Draco watched the wizened professor turned to McGonagall and left the table, a troubled look on his usually calm features. The resounding sound of the great doors clanging shut filled Draco with a deep feeling of uneasiness. He couldn't place it, but it felt as though everything would soon change dramatically.

qpqpqp

Professor Dumbledore knocked lightly on the bathroom belonging to Moaning Myrtle and entered. The ghost sat on one of the sinks listening to the sounds of a very sick Hermione who was currently spilling what was left of her dinner from the previous night into the toilet. The old man leaned against one of the sinks next to Myrtle who looked slightly bewildered and then stated flatly, "You're a boy."

"That I am," Dumbledore said glancing at the ghost as a frazzled Hermione stepped out of the stall and looked up at her headmaster.

"Professor!"

Dumbledore held up a hand and Hermione grew quiet. She clasped her hands together before her and lowered her head as though she were in terrible trouble. Hermione willed her tears back from all the purging and prayed that she wouldn't throw up again.

"Miss Granger I believe that there is a lot of things we need to talk about."

Hermione looked up and locked eyes with Dumbledore. His usually sparkling blue eyes held a look of pity and of deepest regret. Suddenly, Hermione felt like a victim, and she hated feeling like a victim, especially when there was no need for it.

"Excuse me for sounding rude, but I really do not need your sympathy, nor do I need your help." Hermione pushed a stray curl behind her ear and was about to leave the bathroom when the old man spoke again, this time in barely a whisper.

"Was it Harry, Miss Granger?"

Her hand was on the knob of the door, grasping it lightly in her hand, though as she heard those words, her grip tightened, her knuckles turning whiter and whiter as Hermione's hand began to feel numb with the lack of blood flow. Dumbledore's voice held that all knowing tone, as if he already knew without her even answering.

Dumbledore stood and made to move next to Hermione though he fell short a few steps. He appeared to not know what to do.

"We're here for you Miss Granger. There are certain charms that can conceal your belly and even let you hug people without them noticing that you're expecting."

"And then what?" Hermione said rounding on the professor, her eyes ablaze. "I show up one day with a baby in my arms? I tell Ron and everyone else that Harry Potter, the all-round saint got his best friend pregnant, all because she was too weak to say 'no'?"

Golden eyes flashed as Hermione stormed from the bathroom leaving a weary Dumbledore and giggling Moaning Myrtle in her wake.

qpqpqp

Draco rubbed his stomach as he walked the halls back to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. It was a good last meal, an excellent meal, filling him with all his favorite foods. He rounded a corner to the corridor leading to the bathroom and stopped. Resounding through the halls was the sounds of someone weeping. Being the curious Malfoy that he was, Draco walked towards the sound. He came to a rest in front of one of the many broom closets and without warning threw the door open to find, Hermione.

"What's got you all sentimental, Granger?" Draco asked lazily as he crossed his arms and leaned jauntily against the doorjamb. "Has Weasley denied your undying love for him? Or perhaps you miss Saint Potter?"

Hermione hugged her knees to her chest and wiped her hand angrily across her cheek as new tears began to fall. "Leave me alone, Malfoy…"

"Ah, now Granger, you and I both know that you really don't want that." Malfoy said as he stepped into the small space and closed the door. They were both consumed into darkness. "Lumos." Draco's wand tip alit to show the depths of the closet. Hermione was now standing and almost seemed to be cowering in the farthest corner from him. "What are you so afraid of?"

New tears fell so fast from Hermione's eyes it was like a dam had broken and fallen apart somewhere inside of her, spilling out the contents of her tortured, tangled heart.

"_Hermione?" Harry whispered as he neared her. Hermione looked up at Harry's pale face, the pale skin of his chest spreading taught over his muscles. "What are you so afraid of?"_

Suddenly the closet was way too small. Malfoy was way too close for comfort and Hermione couldn't help but think of Harry.

"I have to leave!" Hermione said shrilly, trying to push Malfoy out of the way of the door, trying to escape from her memories.

"Wait, not so fast, Muddy." Malfoy said, grasping her shoulders. Hermione looked up at him, fear in her eyes and her cheeks wet with salty tears. "What's the matter with you?"

"Please… Let me go…" Hermione pleaded quietly, her eyes slightly glazed.

Malfoy tightened his hold on Hermione's shoulders and leaned in closer to her. Hermione bit her lips and sniffled as a sob broke through her lips. Draco let her shoulders loose and Hermione fell to the ground her shoulders shaking with sobs.

"What'd I do?" Draco asked quietly. Sure he might hate her, but he had a heart and crying women always made him feel guilty.

"It's what _he_ did to me…" Hermione said as she shakily stood and looked at Malfoy in the eyes. Her golden eyes were so full of hurt and pain. Malfoy took a step back as Hermione walked stiffly past him, wiping her tears away.

"What _who _did to you?" Draco asked, but she was already gone, melted into the darkness that seemed to follow her.


	3. You're Such a Tease

**A/N!! For the INCREDIBLY smart individual who gave me a review complaining about how "apparently obvious" it is that Hermione is pregnant, please, do me a favor and stop reading, because if you're just going to criticize the way I write, then I don't really want your opinion on it. Did you think that maybe it's _supposed_ to be obvious? I don't know maybe you were just thinking about it by writing it out. But I don't like mean reviews, obviously, and I'm sorry everyone for sounding like a bitch! Hopefully I didn't turn all of y'all off, the story has high hopes! **

BTW! My first fan-fiction is called The Man In Black! Please check it out!!

DISCLAIMER: Only the plot is mine, everything else belongs to J.K.R.

Chapter Three: Nervous In the Dawn of Light.

It's hard to change, and it's hard to lose  
It takes years for us, to be made smooth   
You can use up our love, yeah, precious energy  
To be tossed like a shell, from the hungry seas

…

Hold me, in your arms, until I fall asleep  
I'm so tired...  
Hold me...

And I wished for guidance, and I wished for peace  
I could see the lightning; somewhere in the east  
And I wished for affection, and I wished for calm  
As I lay there  
Nervous in the light of dawn

-Leigh Nash-

"Does it ever scare you?" She asked into the night air.

He turned his head and looked at her pale face bathed in moonlight. "Does what ever scare me?"

For a moment she was quiet, biting her lip and opening and closing her eyes as though it were painful to do so. Releasing a tidal wave of air from her mouth she turned to him, rolling onto her side. Half of her body was swathed in darkness; the other half was bright and almost glowing with pale light.

"Are you ever scared of what is going to happen to us after we leave this place and grow up?" She placed two hands on her lower abdomen and looked deep into his eyes. "Does it ever scare you that things happen that are completely out of our control?"

"I've never really thought of it that way, I guess…" he said, looking in her eyes. "Are you?"

Again she was quiet, a distant look on her face. She rolled on her back and stared up at the stars. The wind blew the tall grass, a soft whispering sound echoing around the small hill they were lying on. He watched as she twiddled her thumbs, thinking of what to say.

He watched as She sat upright, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her long graceful arms around them. Falling in a cascade down her back was a mass of curls which he touched slightly as he sat up beside her. The strands were silky smooth in his finger tips and he was fully entranced.

"I'm more scared of what others can do to me than of what I can do to myself." Her eyes narrowed, focused on some distant point. "It's hard to explain."

He released the captive strands, watching as they fell back into uniform place. "What are you so afraid of?" He asked, frustration leaking into his voice.

"I'm afraid of him," She stated clearly.

"Who's him?"

She fell back down on the ground, her golden hair spreading out like a halo around her face. "You know him." Her lips were full and a soft red, taunting him as she spoke.

Biting his tongue, he leaned back on his palms, his face upturned towards the night sky. He wasn't sure of how long he sat there, counting the stars and trying to calm his angry heart. It was only when she reached out to him, lightly pressing her fingers into his arm that his eyes and mind were snatched away only to be replaced by her. She pulled him down on the ground next to her, so they were both lying on their sides facing each other, one pale, and one dark. They were opposites in everything, even in blood, but they were both too much in love to realize it.

She looked deep into his grey eyes and lightly touched his cheek with her fingers. He closed his eyes, marveling at the smoothness of her skin as it traveled across his cheek to his lips. Slowly he opened his eyes to find her staring at him with a curious expression.

"What is it?" He asked, reaching out to her, his fingers spread out to touch her skin.

She opened and closed her brown eyes. Her fingers were spread out over his cheek, holding his face in a protective kind of way. Touching his bottom lip with her thumb, she looked at him and said as though she weren't sure of the answer,

"Will you still love me in the morning?"

His hand was poised over her neck, fingers spread apart to wrap around the back of her head and bring her closer to him when, suddenly, Draco Malfoy opened his eyes. He was immediately affronted with the persistent beeping of his alarm clock and the soft rays of sunlight peeping through the curtains. Reaching over, he hit the small machine causing it to fall to the ground and beep faster. Taking his wand from under his pillow, he pointed it at the foul, annoying time teller and destroyed it into a million small, little pieces with a flick of the wooden stick.

Raising his hands to his face, Draco rubbed the sleep from his eyes and tossed his feet over the edge of the bed so that he was in a sitting position. Resting his elbows on his knees and his chin in his palms, Draco thought about his dream. The girl next to him was Granger, he was sure of it. Yet, why did she ask if he would still love her in the morning? He didn't even love her now! All she was- no is! is a filthy mudblood who's made him question his entire life and goals.

He remembered the day it all fell into place. The headlines in the paper and how everyone had looked at him as though to say they had always know him to be a murderous Death Eater fool. But not her. She looked at him with a mix of sorrow and a glint in her eye as though she knew exactly what he was going through. She didn't of course, he told himself over the next months as he moved from class to class passing her in the halls as though nothing had changed at all. Hermione would continue on with her life as it had always been around him, just with a few more glances his way. Then there was the incident in the bathroom.

Suddenly, Draco knew what to do. He knew how he would prove to the world that he really was a changed man!

"I'll date the mudblood!" He whispered as he stood and walked into the bathroom, turning on the light with a flick of the switch. The room exploded with bright light and Draco had to squint his eyes slightly as he started a shower and got in. "It's perfect! No one would think of the real Draco Malfoy dating a mudblood, least of all Granger!"

Draco got into the shower and began to wash as he thought of how to carry out his master plan.

qpqpqp

Hermione Granger walked down the hall to the library carrying the books she needed to finish her holiday homework. The hall was deserted, her footsteps echoing across the marble floors and up to the stone ceilings. It was only when she reached the library doors and heard other steps behind her that Hermione turned to see who might be there. Turning suddenly, Hermione saw that the hall was empty. Raising an eyebrow at her own imagination, Hermione pulled the heavy door open with some difficulty and stepped into the serene atmosphere.

Dropping her books on a table close to the back, Hermione looked around to see that the library was deserted, even of Madame Pince. What would usually have caused her to leave in suspicion, Hermione pulled the chair out and took her potions book and a roll of parchment from the stack before her and started to write her paper. The lamps flickered over head, casting shadows around the large room.

Thirty minutes later, the library doors opened. From her position, Hermione was in plain sight of the door, and unfortunately for her, the one person that came in was the one person that she had absolutely no desire in seeing. Draco Malfoy stepped in, his hair dripping wet and even to Hermione, looking dead sexy. Dropping her head to the table, Hermione let the quill in her hand fall slack.

"Merlin? Why do you hate me?" Hermione whispered as the chair next to her was pulled out and a deep voice said.

"I always knew you were insane, Granger."

"Please, leave me alone, Malfoy." Hermione said lifting her head and looking across the table at the Slytherin Prince.

Malfoy smirked and crossed one leg over the other, clasping his hands in his lap. "Ah, but I have a proposition for you."

"Proposition? Since when did you learn such big words?"

"Since I came to realize that you are right in most everything."

"What?"

"Just kidding! Merlin! Anyways, like I was saying, I want you to do something for me."

Hermione sighed and placed her head in her palm. "Can't you just ask Parkinson for things like this?"

Malfoy smirked wider and said, "Parkinson can't do the things for me that you can."

Hermione's eyes widened at his suggestive words. "What are you talking about Malfoy?" Hermione said sitting back in her chair and throwing her quill down.

"I've been waiting for you to ask," Malfoy leaned forward in the seat, uncrossing his legs. He took one of Hermione's hands from across the table and grasped it rather tight in his large hands. Hermione looked at their entwined hands and tried to pull away, but Draco held fast. "Remember how you said that I would know when the opportune moment came?"

Regretting having ever even talked to Malfoy that night, Hermione nodded her head yes and relaxed. Malfoy's hand was so warm. And his eyes were just so invitingly affectionate.

"Well, the perfect idea has come to grace my perfect mind and I know that it'll have everybody thinking that I'm a changed man!" Malfoy said triumphantly, releasing Hermione's hands and spreading his own over his head, a grin on his mouth. Sensing that she was supposed to ask what it was, Hermione said, "What perfect idea had graced your oversized head?"

Ignoring her comment, Draco leaned across the table and said in a whisper that made Hermione lean across the wooden surface closer to him so she could hear his voice, "Be my girlfriend, Hermione?"

It could have been the way he had said her name or the very fact that right after he said that he quickly leant closer and placed a small, tiny kiss on her lips. Hermione fell back away from him, a finger to her mouth. She didn't know whether to be mad, happy or just plain disgusted.

"You know you want to," Malfoy said, his grey eyes glittering in the soft lamp light. He leaned closer over the table, inching ever closer to Hermione who was in too much shock to realize what was the smart thing to do. Their lips were centimeters apart when the library doors were thrown open to reveal a sixth year Ravenclaw. The two teens froze in place, which probably wasn't the best idea. The rest of the residing Ravenclaw house trudged in behind the first to see that one of Malfoy's legs was resting on the table top he was crawling over in an attempt to seduce Hermione who was leaning forward in her seat though she hadn't realized it until that very moment.

In a desperate attempt to save the last of his dignity, Malfoy made to get off the table but only succeeded in losing his balance and literally falling head over heels onto Hermione who fell backwards in her chair taking Malfoy along with her. The Ravenclaws all laughed and began to whisper as Malfoy relaxed on Hermione and said in her ear, "Now you have to go out with me. Everyone will already suspect it, even the ones that aren't here will hear about it. Common, what's the worst that could happen?"

"Ok, fine. But just until the world sees you in a different light, then this is done, over with." Hermione said attempting to push Malfoy off of her expanding belly before he realized that she was in a "delicate" position.

"Knew you'd see it my way," Malfoy said standing, and holding a hand out for Hermione. Taking his hand for show more than anything, Hermione grasped his fingers and pulled herself up from the floor. Malfoy held onto her hand for a moment longer before he released her and turned to the gathered Ravenclaws. "Stop staring, don't you have any respect for a couple?"

The girls nearly fell over themselves at that last comment. The air was high with giggling and squealing that Madame Pince came out of her office near the front of the library and shooed them all away. When she turned back and saw Hermione and Draco she promptly stated that the "library was closed" and to "get out".

"Just act like you like me or something like that so everybody actually believes us," Malfoy said as he took some of Hermione's books from the table. Taking the rest, Hermione stood close to Malfoy as he led the way out of the library.

"Do you realize how hard that's going to be?" Hermione said seriously. "I've hated you for so long; don't blame me if I slip up or something!"

Malfoy held the door open for Hermione as she spoke. He rolled his eyes and whispered, "At least around people, that's what counts the most."

Three girls from Ravenclaw shuffled on by, sneaking glances at Hermione and Malfoy. Taking a few longer strides, Hermione walked closer to Malfoy, fearing for her life as the girls followed at a not so quite distant length. Malfoy looked over his shoulder and then, starting his routine of "dating Muddy (as he had christened her)" wrapped an arm lazily around Hermione's shoulder. It wasn't hard. She was at least six, maybe seven inches shorter than him. As much as he hated to admit it, Hermione fit perfectly against him.

Hermione however was turning every now and then to see if the girls were still behind them; any excuse to get Malfoy's arm away from her and her shoulder. Just as they rounded the corner passing Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, Hermione felt her stomach move. It wasn't a sick feeling, but it was enough to make Hermione stop in her tracks, Malfoy along with her.

"What is it?" Malfoy said, his arm still poised as if over her shoulder.

With a hand on her tummy, Hermione smiled and said, "Oh, nothing."

The three girls from Ravenclaw rounded the corner just in time to see Hermione smile up at Malfoy. When Hermione realized that they once again had an audience, she took that daring step and kissed Draco Malfoy square on the lips. She had to fight back the repulsed look on her face and forced her eyes closed, but not before she noticed the bewildered glare in Malfoy's silver eyes. Hermione smiled on the inside and pulled away, clutching her books to her chest and turned, walking away down the hall.

Malfoy stood stock still, not really registering what had happened in his head. The Ravenclaw girls nearly fell over their selves as they ran away down the hall towards the owlery. Their giggles and high-pitched laughter could be heard for a couple of halls over. Malfoy straightened up just in time to see Hermione slip into the bathroom. Sighing he followed her, opening and closing the door with a loud _bang!_

"Granger?" Malfoy called out into the quiet room when his dearest mudblood appeared to be no where in sight. To his left, one of the stalls opened and out stepped Hermione, with tear-streaked cheeks and swollen eyes, wiping at her mouth with some toilet paper. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing you'd care to know about, Malfoy."

Hermione went up to the sink and turned on the cold water tap. She rolled up her sleeves and looked in the mirror at Draco as he came closer and stood behind her, sniffing at the air with a curious expression on his face.

"What's that smell? Granger, are you sick?" Malfoy asked as Hermione leaned over, cupping some of the water in her hands and splashed it on her hot cheeks.

"Yeah, just a little cold or something." Hermione turned off the tap and took one of the towels, dabbing her face dry. "It's nothing really."

Malfoy seemed a little unconvinced, but for the fact that he really didn't care, he didn't press the matter. "I think we need to go over the dos and don'ts of this 'relationship'."

Hermione leaned back on the faucet and said, "Ok."

"First, I guess we can't keep calling each other by our surnames, or no one will believe us. Second, we'll have to do things together like a normal couple. And, can you think of anything else?"

"Yeah," Hermione said. "How real does this have to be?"

"Well, I did ask you to be my girlfriend and you did say yes, so as far as I'm concerned, it is real." Malfoy said in a low voice.

"I'm sorry but I really don't want to have the privileges that most couples have, Malfoy." Hermione crossed her arms and stared up at Malfoy defiantly as he took a step closer, his wet hair falling into his eyes, almost making Hermione swoon unconsciously.

Reaching out, Draco grasped a strand of Hermione's hair and wrapped it around his pointer finger, marveling at its silkiness.

"What if I want that?" Draco said, still coming closer. Hermione remained calm and took the last step towards Draco so that their bodies were almost touching. She stood on her tip-toes and let her eyes nearly flutter closed. She could feel Draco's breath on her face, the warm air spreading over her cheeks with each exhale. Stretching up, Hermione let her fingers get tangled into Malfoy's wet locks and leaned in so that their lips were nearly touching. Hermione tried to remain in control as Draco wrapped his arms around her and attempted to pull her body closer to his. His breaths were irregular and short, making Hermione wonder if he was just playing along or not.

Taking a deep breath, Hermione brushed her lips against Malfoy's slightly before pulling abruptly away and saying, "Well, then I guess Parkinson is going to come in handy than, huh? After all, all this is is a game. A way to prove you innocent and nice, right, Draco?"

And then Hermione was gone, out the door and up to Gryffindor Tower where she could be away from Malfoy, and away from her confused heart.


	4. Why Do You Do This to Me?

Chapter Four: Mad World

All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places, worn out faces  
Bright and early for their daily races  
Going nowhere, going nowhere  
Their tears are filling up their glasses  
No expression, no expression  
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow  
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny  
I find it kinda sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying  
Are the best I've ever had

Gary Jules

Hermione stayed in Gryffindor Tower for the rest of the night, not even leaving for dinner. She couldn't overcome the strange feeling she had when she saw Malfoy. It had something to do with his eyes; they were just so different. Instead of a walled barrier, they were open pools of silver, beckoning her to drown in their depths. Hermione couldn't explain what had possessed her to do what she had done in the bathroom; it was almost as though she had no control over her actions.

Sighing Hermione stood and decided to go down to the kitchens. She trudged across the common room in her stockings and purple bathrobe and pushed the door open to find Professor Dumbledore. His hand was poised ready to knock on the portrait, though he let it drop to his side once he saw Hermione.

"Oh, Miss Granger, uh," Dumbledore said awkwardly. Hermione looked suspiciously at the old man; he always seemed so composed, like he always knew what to do, it was strange to see him in such a state of uneasiness. "Are you busy?"

"I guess not," Hermione said slowly. Her stomach growled loudly, something she hoped that Dumbledore heard so that she could go to the kitchens instead of talk with him.

"May I come in?" Dumbledore said, motioning towards the common room and warm fire behind Hermione.

Hermione didn't say anything just turned and walked into the large room, waiting for Dumbledore to follow her himself. She stood as Dumbledore came in and made himself comfortable in a chair by the fireplace, tucking his long beard into his lap so that it didn't rest on the floor.

"May I ask what it is that you have come here for?" Hermione asked impatiently, her arms crossed over her chest.

Dumbledore leaned forward somewhat and clasped his hands together.

"We need to talk about the situation you are in," Dumbledore began his voice wearisome, and his eyes appearing tired and strained.

Hermione huffed and said in a blunt voice, "I'm pregnant, not about to die."

"Yes, you are pregnant, with a man's baby that has died. Do you realize what the people will think once they hear about this?"

"Oh yes," Hermione said quickly, interrupting Dumbledore. "They'll think that he really isn't that great! He wasn't the saint every bloody fool put him up to be! What do you think of him now, professor? What do you think of _me_ professor?"

Dumbledore appeared to be at a loss of words. There was obviously no talking to Hermione in such a state as the one she was in. She was unreachable to him or to maybe anyone, now. "Well, if you need anything you know where to turn."

"Yes, to my parents."

Turning slightly, Dumbledore looked at Hermione with something other than contempt with what he saw. Sighing he left, closing the portrait with a bit more vigor than Hermione thought a man of his age was capable with. Falling into the nearest chair, Hermione pouted and sulked for a good twenty minutes, enough time for Dumbledore to have made it back to his office. Her stomach growled again making Hermione haul herself out of the puffy chair and over to the portrait. She pressed her hand against it and pushed it open to only be graced with a second visitor.

"Wait, before you say anything, Granger, I want you to know that I'm the one who has the most to say."

Hermione stepped out and closed the portrait. "Whatever, Malfoy. All I really want is some food."

Draco watched as Hermione walked on past him in her purple bathrobe and socked feet down the corridor. Turning he followed her at a brisk pace to catch up.

"Where are you going? Dinner ended a couple of hours ago." Draco said once he had caught up with the frazzled witch. "What's wrong with you? You look like you've been through a mill and spat back out again."

"Thank you for that marvelous compliment, Darling," Hermione said sarcastically as she turned her head and glanced back at Malfoy. He smiled slightly, which Hermione returned before turning back forward. "So what was it that you wanted to be in control of?"

"'In control of?' Oh!" Suddenly, Draco adopted an angry persona and rushed to be in front of Hermione. He stopped right in front of her and placed her hands on her shoulders to keep her from moving. "What the hell do you think you were pulling today in the bathroom? All that shit about Parkinson and all, you know that that can't happen."

Hermione inhaled deeply and said in a loud voice, "Well I'm not going to be one of your bimbos, Malfoy!"

"I don't want you to be-" Malfoy began only to be interrupted by a silky voice off to his right. Turning, both were graced with the presence of Blaise Zabini, another Slytherin prince. He was leaning jauntily against the stone wall with his arms crossed and a pleased expression on his visage as he spoke these words,

"In a lover's spat already, dear friend? I didn't think that you were the type for that, Malfoy."

Malfoy for the first time in all the time Hermione had known him actually looked just a little bit scared.

"What are you doing here, Zabini? Your parents too ashamed to keep you around after what happened in the last battle?" Malfoy said scathingly. Hermione kept close to him as Zabini heaved himself off the wall and uncrossing his arms, took a step towards the couple.

"At least I still have a family," Zabini said quietly but viciously. Draco reached for his wand and whipped it out as Zabini did the same. "You're just mad that I got the position and you didn't! You can't handle being in second place; that someone could have possibly beaten you!"

Malfoy waved his wand, the incantation to an Unforgivable about to leave his lips when Hermione grabbed his arm and pulled him away. He struggled until he realized that Professor McGonagall had come from her office after hearing the ruckus and with a furious aura permeating before her in the corridor. Zabini however didn't notice McGonagall and let the crucio curse fly. It barely missed Hermione's head who ducked as the red jets of light streamed for her face. Malfoy let out a low growl and appeared ready to jump on the other boy but yet again Hermione was there to save the day.

"Mister Zabini!" McGonagall cried shrilly into the air. Blaise, panic spread on his face, turned slowly and looked his professor in the eye. McGonagall looked livid. "You, in my office now!"

She took Zabini by the arm and turned as if on second thought towards Hermione and Draco. "Are you two all right?" She asked confusion on her face once she realized just who were together.

"Yes, ma'am," Hermione said, taking Draco's arm and starting to pull him away. He still looked as though he wouldn't mind tearing Zabini limb from limb, and Zabini appeared to wish the same. "Just on our way back to our dormitories."

"Well, be on your way then." McGonagall said turning on her heel and dragging Zabini along like a child. Her voice and threats could be heard all the way down the hall and into the next corridor.

"You have some explaining to do," Hermione said as she abandoned her trek for food and doubled back to Gryffindor Tower.

They didn't speak all the way back up the corridor towards the Fat Lady, who had a male visitor in her portrait, her high pitched laughter enough to send Hermione up the wall. Hermione had to say the password nearly five times before the Fat Lady acknowledged that there was even someone there. Hermione pulled the portrait open once the keeper unlocked it and pushed Malfoy inside. He immediately gagged at the sight of red and gold everywhere but soon forgot about it once Hermione pushed him into a chair and started to pace before the fire, something he imagined Potter doing when he was alive.

"What did Zabini mean?" Hermione said finally.

"About what?" Malfoy said lazily, spreading his arms over the back cushions. Hermione tapped her foot impatiently and said,

"You know exactly what I mean, Malfoy."

"No, I really don't, please enlighten me with the marvelous news."

Hermione swallowed and tried to keep her composure as she sat down on the coffee table before Draco and clasped her hands together. "About what position he got and you didn't."

Draco's face hardened into that of both fear and greed. He had never looked as envious as he did at that exact moment. Hermione could see his body tense with irritation.

"It's none of your business, Mudblood."

"Fine, don't tell me, but don't expect me to save your sorry ass next time that you attempt to kill somebody!"

"I didn't ask you to do that, Granger!" Draco yelled standing to his feet.

Hermione did the same and yelled back, her voice loud and reverberating off the stone walls, "No, you didn't, but I did anyways, didn't I? Didn't I?!"

Draco didn't say anything, just breathed in and out a few times. He didn't know what had come over Granger, but lately she had been really testy; anything was enough to send her off the wall. Calming slightly, Draco took a step closer and looked Hermione in the eye. Her own were telling him how livid she was, how she didn't really understand and it was killing her.

Sighing Draco said, "If I tell you, you can't go off and tell Weasley or Dumbledore or anybody else, ok? This has to be between you and I, and no one else." Draco said finally, bending his head slightly. Why was he telling her this? _Because I just want her to know…_Draco thought. Retaking his seat, he patted the space next to him, which Hermione fell rather gracefully into, tucking her feet up underneath her.

"It all started back in sixth year, with the assignment I was given to kill Dumbledore." Draco began slowly, his eyes forward on the fire, though he knew that Hermione was staring intently at him. "Voldemort was displeased with me and instead of killing me, he gave Zabini the assignment. At the final battle, while Voldemort and Potter were fighting, Zabini was supposed to kill Dumbledore, but never succeeded, instead it was his father that had to cover up the job for him. They both decided that to save Blaise's skin, they would say that he did it, even though he really didn't. all they did was put a charm on both Dumbledore and Voldemort so that they would never cross paths. Before Voldemort died, he appointed Zabini with the 'honor' of being the next Dark Lord and all that crap, saying that he deserved it and had earned it. And now, he wants to kill Dumbledore and me for some kind of initiation ceremony that Voldemort designed a couple of weeks before he died. Some kind of way of proving him worthy to be the Dark Lord."

"So," Hermione began. "You're jealous that Zabini's the next Dark Lord?"

Draco sighed loudly and let his head fall back on the sofa. "Well, no, but also yes. I'm jealous that he got it when he's so unworthy! He used to complain about how much he hated the Dark Lord and how he wished that he were dead just so that we could all finally be free to just be people. It doesn't even really make sense!"

They were quiet for a moment. The only sounds were that of the fireplace cracking and of the both of them breathing.

"You know," Draco started, a slight smile on his face. "I'll probably die before anyone realizes what good I really am."

He turned to Hermione who had a look of fear on her features. "What do you mean?"

"Zabini will kill me in my sleep most likely before anyone knows that I'm not a, what'd you call it? Oh, yes, a 'murderous Death Eater fool'," Malfoy laughed like a crazy person and Hermione slid back, a little ways away from him.

Once Malfoy had quieted down, it was silent again, with Hermione thinking of ways to save Draco Malfoy, though she said she didn't care if he died and Malfoy thinking of how, if he did die, at least he'd be out of this mess. After a bit, Hermione slid back over, closer to Draco and said quietly, so that he had to lean in to hear her, "You could stay here if you wanted…"

Draco nearly fell off the couch in surprise. Hermione "prude, mudblood" Granger was asking him, Draco "Sex King" Malfoy to stay with her.

"Granger, I thought you didn't want the privileges that all the other couples have?" Draco said saucily, looming over her on the couch.

"I don't."

"Then why'd you ask me to stay?"

"Well, if you want to be killed than be my guest and leave, Malfoy!"

"I think I'll stay."

The wood popped in the hearth, a couple of burning pieces spilling out of the grate and onto the flagged floor. Draco asked quite suddenly, "Where am I going to stay, Granger?"

Hermione looked up at Malfoy with a raised eyebrow and said, "I don't know, Malfoy. Where would you like to stay?"

The old Draco would have said, "In your bed" in a heartbeat, but this one merely shrugged and said, "I guess the couch is ok."

"Right," Hermione said. She stood and stretched her arms over her head and walked over towards the stairs. She turned once she had reached the first step and said, "I'll be upstairs. I don't know if they'll let you up though."

"What?"

"You'll see," Hermione said with a smile. Turning, she walked up the stairs and disappeared.

♥

Draco tossed and turned for the better part of three hours. He kept dreaming of Hermione being killed and then himself and it was causing him more pain than he was really comfortable with. Finally, when the old grandfather clock in the corner chimed that it was four, he stood from the couch, letting the wool blanket he had found on the back of a chair fall to the ground. He considered replacing his shirt and robes, but thought that it might give Hermione a better scare if he was half naked.

Stretching slightly, Draco walked over to the stairs and began to take them two at a time. He had almost reached the landing where all the doors were located when the stairs fell into the floor and became like that of a slide. He fell all the rest of the way down, landing on his butt when he came back to the common room. "What the hell?" Draco said angrily. That must have been what Hermione was talking about last night.

Sighing heavily, Draco watched as the stairs rebuilt themselves and became the staircase it had once been. Taking a few deep breaths and adopting a running stance, Draco swung his arms back and forth a few times, and then he was off, taking the stairs now three at a time and running as fast as he could up the flight of steps. He had made it to the last three steps when the staircase became once again a slide. He jumped and landed on his stomach on the hard stone. Draco heaved himself up and onto the landing, panting slightly. There were a total of seven doors, and believing that it was the same as the Slytherin girls he walked to the seventh door and opened it slowly and quietly. There in the middle, the only one present was Hermione. She was wearing a t-shirt and underwear, the covers half on, half off her body. Draco stepped in and closed the door silently, then crept over towards Hermione's bed. Her eyes were closed and she looked peaceful, more so than she had been in a while, Draco observed. Her breaths were regular, even and paced as Draco sat on the edge of the bed and watched her. It wasn't a creepy way of watching someone sleep; if anyone else were to see him there, they would think that he was simply watching someone he loved, a sort of guardian.

Hermione rolled onto her back, her arms over her head and opened her eyes slightly. Draco prepared for her to yell and scream at him to get out, and call him obscenities, but it never came. Instead she reached out and touched his cheek, a smile on her face. It was apparent that she thought she was dreaming. Sitting up her golden strands of hair falling down her back in a cascade of curls, she lightly brushed her lips across his and said, "I'll still love you in the morning." That having been said, she lay back down on the bed and closed her eyes, immediately falling into a deep slumber. Draco, surprise written all over his face, stood and left the room. He closed the door quietly and started his descent down the stairs when suddenly they became a slide and he fell, hitting his tail bone on the hard stone and bumping his head on the wall where the staircase turned.

Now fully annoyed and with a blazing headache, Draco went back to his couch and taking the blanket from the floor, curled up in a ball, hugging his knees to his chest as best as he could.

"Why did she have to say that?" he whispered angrily into the air, sighing after having done so. His head pounded and ached but eventually he fell asleep, surprisingly quickly. It had been such a long night. Draco fell asleep for the first time in a long time not with a fear of what could happen to him while he slept, or not of what could happen to him the next day, but with dreams of a certain bushy-haired nerd. And it unnerved him to no end to think that in just the course of a day she was every where in his thoughts. His last conscious thought before falling asleep was that he had loved her for a while, just never known it till now.


	5. Exposed

Chapter Five: Exposed

Hermione yawned and stretched as the rays of sunlight permeated through the thick drapes. She smiled slightly as she pondered her dream last night and stood shakily to her feet. Grabbing her purple bathrobe from the chair next to her bed, she stuffed her arms into it and tied a knot on the belt before heading down the stairs to her ferret.

He was sleeping on his stomach his feet dangling over the arm of the couch and his head squished into the other arm. Draco's mouth was slightly open, a pool of drool collecting on the plush upholstery. Hermione giggled and left the common room, going instead to a balcony near the stairs to the boy's dormitories. The sun had barely begun to rise and Hermione, taking full advantage of this, conjured up a chair and a cup of cocoa. She curled into the seat, cupping the mug of steaming liquid in her hands close to her face.

Out here, she could think and be away from it all. She could have stayed out here all day if it weren't for the fact that everything she thought about was related to Hogwarts and Ron and Harry. Harry, she had tried for so long to just forget about him and everything that had transpired between them before he died. But as she thought of him, she thought of Draco. She didn't know him, and yet she did. She knew when he was annoyed, when he was happy or sad. He wasn't an easy read, but Hermione had been up for the challenge and spent a better part of four years studying him inconspicuously. Draco Malfoy really was quiet and subdued despite what everyone thought of him. He preferred to be alone than with a girl, and though he was male, as far as she knew he had really only been with Pansy. Not that she knew everything that happened behind the portrait to the Slytherin common room. And nor did she really care to know…

A bird flew through the air, its wings beating at the strong current of wind and nosed dived into the forbidden forest. Hermione followed it with her eyes, till it was lost to the dense branches of the trees. She turned her eyes towards the quidditch pitch and let her mind superimpose memory after memory into her brain. The first few were easy, little images here and there of the golden trio at the end of the season, lugging Harry around on their shoulders and touching the quidditch cup. Than Hermione began to look at everything that at the time, she had been too preoccupied to notice. Like the time when she had ran into Malfoy amongst the crowd, and instead of pushing her away and calling her a mudblood, he grasped her hand for a second and stared intently into her eyes, almost as though he knew not of what he was doing. And then the crowd surged, disconnecting them and they promptly forgot about it, instead moving on to the things that mattered most.

Taking a sip of her cocoa, Hermione closed her eyes savoring the taste of it when her thoughts became more recent. Instead of willing them away, she let them come freely, almost beckoning them to come closer so the sooner she could be rid of them.

"_Hermione, come here, Hermione," Harry whispered into the dark room. Hermione smiled and stepped in, closing the door softly behind her. Harry stood from the bed he had been sitting on and came across the room towards her. _

"_I have so much to tell you, Hermione. I want you to know how I feel, I want you to know in case I don't come back," Harry said slowly, coming close to Hermione._

"_Don't say that Harry, of course you're coming back!" Hermione cried softly. _

_Harry came closer to her and placed a hand on her cheek. "I love you, Hermione."_

"_I love you too, Harry," Hermione said, meaning it in the platonic, brotherly/sisterly love she had always thought it was._

"_No," Harry said, laughing slightly. "I _love _you Hermione. I love you so much, I always have."_

_Hermione felt her heart catch in her throat. This was what she had always wanted, right? Maybe a couple of years ago when she was younger, but now? No, she didn't love him like that, not anymore at least. She was in love with someone else…_

"_I'm sorry, Harry," Hermione began only to be interrupted by Harry's finger on her lips._

"_Ssh…" Harry said. "Just let me love you."_

_And then Harry began to kiss her. It was slow at first, but as Hermione began to respond, Harry began to deepen the kisses. His hands were roaming up and down her back, sending unpleasant shivers up Hermione's spine._

"_Please, don't Harry," Hermione said as she pressed her hands into his chest and attempted to push him away from her. _

_Harry stopped, looking back at Hermione with confusion. "I thought that this is what you wanted? I thought that you loved me too…"_

"_What about Ginny, Harry?" Hermione said suddenly, hoping to get Harry's mind off of herself. _

_Harry shrugged his shoulders and said, "What about Ginny? I love you, Hermione. If I loved Ginny, she would be here now, not you."_

_After that, Hermione was unsure how it all happened. At one point she and Harry were both fully clothed, just making out on his bed and then Harry's shirt was gone and then her own and before Hermione knew it, she was completely naked as was Harry. He kissed her neck and cupped her breast in his hands, all the while he moved in and out, in and out. Hermione pulled away slightly as the seriousness of her situation began to sink in. Harry pulled back, coming out of her, the pale of his chest, gleaming with sweat and moonlight, catching her eye. "What's wrong? What are you so afraid of Hermione?"_

_But she didn't answer. Instead she let him return to her, kissing her lips and her neck, caressing her body and taking the one thing that she could never get back, something she'd wanted to give willingly and in the right state of mind._

_Harry's body tensed and he began to pump faster. Hermione grasped at his back and turned her head to the side, so that her tears fell over onto the bed and not near Harry. _

"_Hermione," Harry gasped once and then it was over. Just like that. He looked down at her, his breaths labored and wiped at her eyes, trying to stop the flow of tears as they cascaded down her face. "I love you, Hermione."_

_Hermione didn't say anything just nodded her head and pushed Harry off of her. Harry rolled onto his back, his hands on his stomach and looked at Hermione who was lying with her back to Harry. _

"_Hermione," Harry said, placing a hand on her back. It felt like hot iron on her skin and Hermione had to force herself to not pull away in repulsion. "I love you."_

"_Yeah," was all that Hermione said. She laid there for the rest of the night, though she didn't know why, with Harry lying beside her, an arm draped lazily across her stomach. _

_That morning, around five, there came a knock at Harry's door and then Ron came in, taking in the sight of his two best friends before blushing and telling Harry that the Death Eater's had been spotted near here and now was the time. After Ron had left, Harry rolled Hermione onto her back and stared down at her. She stared back and decided that maybe being with Harry wasn't that bad of a thing. That was until she fully remembered the night before and had to keep from crying._

"_I want you to stay here, ok? Stay here and keep the headquarters in order. If anything should happen, this is all yours, all of it," And then Harry was up, dressed and gone. As the sounds of the older order members leaving the house echoed around the small room, Hermione cried, her arms wrapped around her legs. She vaguely recalled getting up and starting a shower, and washing three of four times, trying to rid her body of the dirty feeling that just wouldn't go away. She stayed in the shower until the water ran too cold for her to handle and after that, she left Harry's room, her wrinkly clothes in her hands and a robe around her body. _

_It was midnight before the order members came back. Hermione listened from her bed as a set of feet trudged along the hall floor and up to her bedroom door. There was a knock and then the door was opened. It was Ron, with bloody cuts all over his body, though none of them were fatal. He slipped into the room and up to Hermione's bed._

"_Hermione," Ron said suddenly. Hermione opened her eyes and looked up at him, her eyes swollen and red. "Harry's dead, Hermione. And so is Voldemort. They're both dead."_

"_How?" was all Hermione asked. Ron began to cry and Hermione stood, taking him into her arms and letting her clothes stain with his blood. _

"_They killed each other."_

Hermione let the tears fall as the memories fell away. She placed the mug on the ground and let her head fall into her hands, the tears running down her cheeks in little streams and rivers. And then there were two hands on her shoulders, pulling her up out of the chair. Hermione looked up in surprise and saw Malfoy, his face looked different, an emotion that Hermione couldn't quite place, not that at the moment she really cared. Malfoy pulled Hermione into a hug and Hermione gratefully fell into his body. She cried into his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. His skin was soft on her face and Hermione fully lost herself with him.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" Draco asked finally, resorting to her first name. Hermione hiccupped and stayed in Draco's embrace, ignoring his question. But Draco would have none of it. "Hermione, what's wrong?!"

"Stop!" Hermione said, pulling away and placing a finger to his lips. Draco looked mildly confused as Hermione sniffled and came closer. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. She couldn't explain why she did it, but once she had, she couldn't stop. And apparently neither could Draco. They kissed each other passionately on the balcony, as the wind blew chilling them both considerably. Than Draco picked Hermione up and carried her into the warm common room, dropping her on his couch and then climbing on top, when Hermione reached out for him. Draco and Hermione couldn't figure out why they kissed the other like they did. They just couldn't help it. Draco fiddled with the tartan belt on Hermione's bathrobe, trying in vain to get it open. Hermione ran her hands up and down Draco's chest, their lips still melted together. Draco got the robe open and started to pull up on her t-shirt when Hermione pulled away and said, "Stop," so quietly that Draco either didn't hear or chose to ignore it. He kissed her neck and ran his hands up her shirt towards her breast when he noticed something. Pulling away, Draco stood on his hands and knees, looking down at Hermione who was trying to vain to get her robe closed again.

"Are you-?" Draco said, pulling at the robe and Hermione's t-shirt.

"No, Draco, please don't," Hermione said squirming under the Slytherin King. But he was too sly and cunning for her. He grasped both her hands in one of his own and looking into Hermione's eyes, pulled up her shirt so that her stomach was exposed. He looked down and felt with his free hand the baby bump just above her hips.

"You're pregnant?" Draco asked incredulously. "You, Hermione Granger, are pregnant?!"

Draco was livid. Hermione was his, she was supposed to be all his and here she was with another man's baby. 'Wait,' he thought, 'why is it affecting me so much?'

"Is this why you've been so afraid, Hermione?"

Hermione nodded her head yes slowly and let the tears fall.

Draco released her hands and lay to the side of her, stroking her face with his fingers.

"Hermione, who did this to you?"

"It was Harry."

Draco looked down at Hermione and saw it all in her eyes. He had forced himself on her and taken the one thing that she had strove to keep. And now, Draco wished he could've killed Potter himself during the last battle.

"Do you hate me, Draco?" Hermione asked quietly not meeting his eye. She twiddled her thumbs and stared at her hands.

"No," Draco said surprising even himself. "I don't hate you, Hermione." Then taking a deep breath he continued with "I'll help you with what ever you need."

Hermione didn't try to hide her surprise. She hiccupped and stared at Draco as though he had grown two heads and was currently spinning like a top on one of them. Draco couldn't even explain it himself. He just wanted to be there for her. He wanted to do all the things that he would do if the baby was his. He wanted her to know that he loved her. Wait. He loved her? Since when? He didn't eve know her. Hermione curled around and snuggled into Draco who automatically tucked a protective arm around her.

Reaching down, Draco grasped the blanket and covered her body and his with it. He stroked Hermione's back until she fell asleep, her face stained and red from tears. Draco lay on the couch with his girlfriend and tried to remember when he had gone from hating her like he should and to loving her like he shouldn't. Hermione Granger never ceased in amazing him with startling news, but this was the topper on the cake. He fell asleep himself surprisingly easily considering what had happened.

"I love you, Hermione Granger," Draco whispered, his conscious slipping into the unconscious.

Hermione yawned and said softly, "I love you too, Draco Malfoy."

**A/N**

**Sorry it's so short guys, but I mostly just wanted to get this part out there and out of the way. Thanks to those who review and to those who don't please dooooooo!!!!!!!!!**


	6. But You Did

Chapter Six: But You Did

I'm sittin' here all by myself  
just tryin' to think of something to do  
Tryin' to think of something, anything  
just to keep me from thinking of you  
But you know it's not working out  
'cause you're all that's on my mind  
One thought of you is all it takes  
to leave the rest of the world behind

Draco awoke the next morning at ten when the grandfather clock spat out ten long and annoying chimes. Hermione was still lying next to him, her face pressed into his chest and her arms very nearly around him. Sighing, Draco got up off of the couch, straddling Hermione slightly before standing on the cold stones of the tower. The fire had died a long time before and Draco realized that the only thing that had been keeping them warm was their body heat and the wool blanket he had left on Hermione's body. Stretching slightly, he went off in search of a bathroom, deciding to use the boys staircase as it had the least likely chance of turning into a slide and giving him a migraine. He took the stairs slowly, rubbing his face tiredly and scratching his butt in that unattractive but cute way that would have made Hermione smile if she were awake. Coming to the landing, he opened the first door and found the first years' dormitories. Draco continued on down the hall, opening all the doors till he came to the last one in the hall, which turned out to be the bathroom. The room had whitewashed walls with gold tiles in the shower area that looked as though they had been placed there in the seventies. The sinks were white with red tiled countertops. It was almost too much for him. Did all Gryffindors have that same bout of pride for their house? Off to the right there was a separate area with private stalls that turned out to be the lavatory. Draco went immediately for these. His mind wandered to the things most present with the world; he thought of Hermione and everything that had transpired between them in such a short amount of time. He knew that deep, deep down he had always loved her in a sense. He had always looked up to her and felt mad when she had been hurt on one of her little expeditions playing hero with Pothead and Weasel. Draco had just always assumed that it was jealousy, that Hermione Granger would always have cooler battle scars than himself.

Flushing the toilet, Draco stripped of his boxers and wrinkled blue jeans and went back into the bigger room for a shower. He started the tap and stood off to the side letting the water warm before he stepped underneath it. He couldn't understand what it was about her. Hermione was just something that had always been forbidden to him, he guessed and that was what what made him initially want her. He took some of the shampoo left behind by one of the Gryffindor boys and rubbed it in his hair, pushing his blond locks up and out of his face so that he looked just a little like he did before he stopped gelling his hair.

_What would father think?_ Draco thought as he rinsed his hair, his eyes closed and the water running down over his face. _He'd probably kill me, cross me out of every family history, tree, lineage paper, tapestry, and certificate every created with my name on it and then die himself of shame. _He chuckled slightly at the next thought, _might not be too bad…_

Finishing his shower, Draco realized that the only clothes he had with him were his dirty pants and boxers, so with a quick _scourgify_ they were good as new. He put them on after drying off and left the now steamy hot bathroom in search of his dearest Mudblood. The term no longer held the same effect it had once before had. It was almost endearing to him, though he would never for the life of him say that word to Hermione again, even if Voldemort rose from the dead and threatened to cut off his… well you get the picture. Draco very nearly skipped down the stairs expecting to find Hermione still on the couch but she no where in sight. And then he heard it. There was a voice from up the girls' staircase singing what had to be a muggle song. A voice that had to belong to Hermione.

Draco strained his ears to try and hear what it was that she could possibly be saying when he gave up and decided to try and make it up the stairs again. This time though, the stairs let him go to about the middle of the staircase before turning into a slide. Draco jumped and landed on his stomach on the cool granite and locked his feet against the wall in the corner of the floor and the wall. He used his hands to pull himself up and around the stairs. Hermione's voice was getting louder and more intelligible. Draco began to pant before long. He was used to exercise but this was making him use all the muscles that he didn't usually use for quidditch. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Draco made it to the landing where he paused to catch his breath. Steam was billowing out from under the door close to his left, Hermione's voice reverberating off of the stone and into the small corridor Draco was in. He stood shakily and walked over to the door, placing his ear to the warm wood.

"Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did  
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did  
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did  
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did"

Hermione's voice was sweet and perfect, hitting every note with nigh a crack or pause. Draco relaxed against the door, letting Hermione's voice take him away. He never knew that a simple song sang by a simple girl could make him feel so much, almost important.

"I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself  
that you're not the one for me  
But the more I think, the less I believe it  
and the more I want you here with me  
You know the holidays are coming up  
I don't want to spend them alone  
Memories of Christmas time with you  
will just kill me if I'm on my own"

Draco took a deep breath and opened the door softly. He stepped inside the steamy room and closed the door softly behind him. This room was different than the boys, for each shower was its own stall, where the boys were merely shower heads placed sporadically throughout the room. Settling down on the floor by the door, Draco listened as Hermione hummed the pause of the song and then began to sing again, her melodious voice wafting through the thick steam towards him, filling him with an emotion that he had never quite felt before. It was strange, but it was good. It was something that Draco never wanted to go away, despite his teachings to never let an emotion get in the way of your duty. What that duty was now, he wasn't sure. But he knew that it wasn't with Voldemort and the Death Eaters. Or shouldn't we say Blaise and the Death Eaters?

"I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar  
But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far  
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you  
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand  
we've got nothing left to prove

"And I didn't mean to meet you then  
we were just kids  
And I didn't mean to give you chills  
with the way that I kiss  
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did  
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did  
Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did  
No, you didn't mean to love me back  
But you did"

She grew quiet and Draco closed his eyes, basking in the goodness of it all and trying to stop thinking about how much he wanted to be in there with her. The water stopped a few moments later and Hermione's hand broke through the curtain, taking her fluffy white towel from the rack just outside the cubicle. She hummed some more to herself and then opened the curtain, the towel wrapped around her body. Draco didn't move. He hadn't thought of what she would do if he was found, looking all the more like a perverted stalker sitting on the tile whilst she showered. But Hermione surprised him. She stepped out of the shower, wringing the excess water from her hair before she noticed him. At first she seemed taken aback, maybe even angry, but then she smiled that smile she only showed to him and wrapped the towel more firmly around her body.

"I would have thought that you would have come in and joined me, Draco," Hermione said, walking up to the mirror and taking out her toothbrush and toothpaste.

Draco smiled and said, "Well, if you want to start the shower again and let me in, I will."

Hermione smiled again and dipped her toothbrush under the water, wetting the bristles and paste. "Yes, I could do that I suppose…"

They grew quiet as Hermione began to brush her teeth, her eyes focused on something in front of her. Draco stood from his position by the door and walked across the room to the sinks, stopping a step behind Hermione, who in turn spat out the toothpaste and rinsed her mouth with some water before turning back to Draco. She smiled slightly and said, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Draco said slowly, a slight smile on his lips. Hermione replaced her toothbrush and pulled out a hair brush. She turned to Draco suddenly, a hand on her hip, a demand for him to tell her what it was that was bothering him when Draco placed a finger to her lips and said, "Shh, don't speak."

He kissed her softly, his hands cradling her face, and his body close to hers. Hermione let the hairbrush fall to the ground with a clatter as Draco ran his fingers through her hair softly. Draco ran his hands down her back, feeling her soft skin against his own. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Hermione pressed her body into Draco's that passion from earlier back under her skin, itching to find a way out. Draco pushed Hermione into one of the sinks and lifted her onto the counter, stepping between her legs when she pulled him close. He ran his hands up her thighs, feeling the slight shudder that passed over Hermione's body. Pulling back, Draco looked into her eyes and said, "Are you alright?"

"Yes," Hermione said, pulling Draco closer again, their lips centimeters apart. "Now, what was that about not speaking?"

Draco smiled and kissed Hermione again. It was the happiest he had ever been, and he knew that Hermione was the perpetrator. And it made him happy to know that someone was there, feeling the same way as he on this lonely and cold Christmas in the castle. Besides, who else was there for him to keep warm on long nights, and vice versa?

♥

The next week passed by rather quickly for the both of them. Hermione and Draco did the things that normal couples did out in public, much to the dismay of the single and available girls around Hogwarts. They kissed in the corridors, were caught in a broom closet by a Ravenclaw boy and girl a year younger than them both and held hands as they walked around the lake, teasing the giant squid. Needless to say, the world was noticing a change in Draco Malfoy… and Hermione Granger. She gained weight like no other, which was surprising considering the amount of time she spent in the bathroom regurgitating most of her nutrition back up. Draco would always be there, playing the role of dutiful boyfriend, pulling her hair back and stroking her back. It was almost as though he were no longer playing, but taking on the responsibility of a pregnant girlfriend.

It wasn't until Hermione received a letter from Ron the beginning of the second week that she even realized what she was doing, not only to herself but to her friends. She had opened the letter with trembling hands, thankful that Draco was elsewhere and that she had a few private moments to herself.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I hope that all is well and that Ferret Face isn't giving you too much of a problem. Speaking of Ferret Face, I heard the most idiotic rumor from Fred who heard from Angelina who heard from Susan who heard from Looney Lovegood who was in the library at the time that you and Ferret Face were "canoodling" in the depths of the restricted section. I know stupid right?_

_We all wish you were here with us, celebrating and whatnot, but we understand that there are too many memories. Ginny cries inconsolably, and Fred and George seem to not know what to do with themselves now that they can only play tricks on family members… Mum and Dad are at a loss too. Mum still makes too much food, expecting to turn around and see Harry here with us. We all miss you, Hermione, please consider coming, even if it's only for me. I miss you, Hermione. You obviously don't have to, but we'd all love it if you could come. And bring that snot-faced, squashy, orange thing called a cat…Fred and George have a new invention for ugly cats to make them "cute". Their word not mine!_

_Well, must go, we're going to Diagon Alley to get Christmas Presents!_

_Miss you,_

_Love,_

_Ron (and family)_

Folding the letter, Hermione placed it aside on her dresser about the time that Draco came bounding into the room. He was too happy to be Draco Malfoy, but maybe, Hermione thought, this was just who he was and nobody had been allowed to see it. Draco tackled Hermione, pushing her back on the bed and showered her with kisses.

"What are you doing, you crazy man?" Hermione said, laughing softly. Draco continued to kiss her, moving from her lips to her neck.

"I'm moody!"

"You're Moody?"

"No, not Mad-Eye!" Draco said, pulling away with a disgusted look on his face. He raised his eyebrows and said again seductively, "I'm moody."

Hermione raised her own eyebrows in amusement and said, "Oh, really?"

"Really, really," Draco said, swooping down to kiss Hermione's lips. Hermione kissed Draco back with the same vigor as himself when she pulled away rather unexpectedly. Ron and Harry's faces were swimming before her, telling her of all the nasty things that Draco Malfoy had either said or done to them during their former years at Hogwarts. She pictured him making fun of her for her blood, her teeth, her hair and how smart she was. Draco Malfoy had been cruel and malicious towards her, why the sudden change? Draco looked down at Hermione in concern; she however was avoiding his eyes, choosing instead to look at the bed cover or out the window. Placing a finger under her chin and forcing her to look at him he said quietly, "What's wrong, love?"

"Love?" Hermione said with a bit of disdain. "Since when have you started to use endearing terms for me?"

Shifting, Hermione slid out from underneath him and laid on her side, facing her back to him. Draco placed on hand on her back, the warmth of it spreading throughout her body, causing Hermione to shudder in that way that made her want so bad to love him.

"Since I fell in love with you… What's wrong? Why did you suddenly pull away from me?" Draco said, propping up on his elbow, his fingers tracing down Hermione's back.

Standing abruptly, Hermione crossed her arms and paced, something that Draco was getting used to. He lay on his back, placing his hands under his head and following Hermione with his eyes as she walked to and fro before the twin bed. She sighed loudly and uncrossed her arms, re-crossing them with vigor and anger.

"Do I have to ask again?" Draco said lazily, looking at his finger nails and looking all the more like the old Malfoy. Hermione stopped her pacing and stared down at Draco lying on her bed. He returned her stare with confusion. "What's wrong, Hermione?"

"Do you really love me?" Hermione asked, her voice spiteful, and her hands clenched at her sides. Draco stopped picking at his finger nails and let his hands fall down to the bed. He sat up, scooted over to the end of the bed and knelled down before Hermione.

"Is that what's bothering you?" Draco asked, mockery in his eyes.

Hermione huffed and crossed her arms for the thirtieth time. "If you're just going to make fun of me, than be my guest and leave!"

"That's not what I meant, Hermione!" Draco said, reaching out to grasp her shoulders. Hermione took two steps back, placing enough space between her and Draco that it was impossible for him to touch her without getting off the bed. Draco sighed and fell back on his butt, crossing his arms. "Why do you think that I don't love you?"

"Well, it's not like you were the nicest person before, why the sudden change?"

Draco gave her an incredulous look and said, "Hermione, I've always loved you. Maybe not like I do now, but somewhere inside of me has always been a love that I've had for only you. Do you know how strange it is to be with someone and thinking about another?"

Hermione's eyes grew big. She thought of that night with Harry. Promising herself it was just her mind wandering to all the people that had been cruel to her in their own way, Hermione promptly attempted to forget about dreaming of Malfoy making love to her in the place of Harry. Hermione's cheeks grew hot and red as she ducked her head, trying in vain to keep Draco from seeing. Draco nearly fell off the bed in surprise at Hermione's reaction.

"Do you think of other people when I make-" Draco began only to be interrupted by Hermione.

"No! I wasn't thinking of you and me…"

Draco stood from the bed and crossed the room to Hermione who took one step back as he took a step forward till she had pinned herself to the wall. "Then you were thinking of Potter?"

He spat out the name as though it was a vile thing that stung his tongue like fire. Hermione looked up into Draco's eyes and saw pure jealousy burning bright in his grey eyes.

"Well I was thinking of that night…"

"Ah, so you _are_ guilty of thinking of someone else during sex!"

"No need to rub it in my face," Hermione said, trying to get out of Draco's grasp. He held on fast though and leaned down closer to her face.

"Who did you think of?"

Hermione's face turned pink and she tried to remember that she was mad, and for good reason, but it was just so hard when Draco had her pinned to a wall breathing on her with his warm breath that always smelled like cinnamon. Hermione let out an incoherent mumble, burying her face into his chest so that he couldn't understand.

"What was that?"

"You..."

"…"

"Surprised?"

"A little…"

Draco let Hermione go, who automatically slipped away, putting a good foots worth distance between them. She crossed her arms and said, "I'm still mad at you."

"Why?" Draco said, trying to come closer. It turned into a game of chase with Hermione jumping on and over beds and Draco following behind at a close pace. "Heerrrrrmmmmiiiiiionnnnnneeeeeeeeeee! Tell me!"

Hermione jumped for Lavender Brown's bed, missed by an inch and ended up crashing into the floor. Draco tried to save her, missed and fell too, landing atop her on the stone floor. "There, now you can't move!" Draco said, panting slightly. Hermione pushed at his shoulders and tried to pull herself out of his grasp when something caught her eye. She stopped and stared at Draco's cheek. Draco looked at Hermione in surprise. "What's wrong?"

Tracing her finger over a cut the width of her finger nail Hermione scrunched her eyebrows together and said, "I did that, right?"

Draco reached up and felt the little scab. "Yeah, I'd forgotten about that to be honest… Stop changing the subject! Why are you mad at me?"

"Because…"

"That's explanatory."

Sighing, Hermione said, "Why do you love me? Why are you here being so nice to me when for the past six years you were a complete asshole who never missed an opportunity to make fun of me? Why have you all of a sudden changed?"

Placing a finger on Hermione's lips to silence her, Draco smiled much to the annoyance of Hermione and tried his best to explain himself to her. "I guess what it ultimately was, was that you were forbidden; something so foreign and something so guarded… it was human nature to want you. It was something that was uncontrollable and something that was kept from me. I wanted what Potter and Weasley had, I wanted you. I began to watch you, not like a stalker, but in classes and things of that nature, and I started to see all those little things that made you, you. Like I know that when you're nervous you rub the fabric of your skirt in between your pointer finger and thumb. Or when you're mad you're cheeks turn red and you hold you breath for long periods of time. You never smile at Potter or Weasley the way you smile at me, even if it was just sarcastic." He paused slightly, remembering all the things that had made him fall in love with Hermione Granger. "Remember when we were at the quidditch finals last year, going for the quidditch cup?" Hermione nodded her head yes slowly. "I found you in the crowd, laughing and having fun with your friends when you turned and looked at me. I don't know why I did it, but I took your hand and to my surprise you held it back, a slight smile on your lips. It was then that I truly fell in love with you, Hermione Granger. It was then that I realized that I wanted you to be mine and mine only. You're smart, funny and you can defend yourself in a fight, take it from me!"

Laughing slightly, Hermione looked down at Draco shirt, picking at the collar as Draco rested his forehead against hers and said, "I love you Hermione, more than you know. I can't explain it. But I know it's true."

Sighing, Hermione looked up into Draco's eyes and said, "Well, I guess I'm not mad anymore…"

Draco smiled, a chuckle escaping his lips. "Do you love me?"

Hermione placed a hand on his cheek, cradling his head in her hand, and running her thumb over his bottom lip. She pulled him down to her and kissed his lips softly, running her hands down his face neck and to his chest. Opening her eyes, she looked deeply into his grey irises and replied with,

"Of course I love you, so, so much…"

**A/N **

**The song is Plain White T's, A Lonely September.**


	7. Unexpected Christmas Presents

Chapter Seven: Unexpected Christmas "Presents"

"It's nearly Christmas," Hermione whispered into the stillness of her room. It was eleven fifty nine and counting.

"Hmm…" came a muffled voice beside her. Draco had his face buried in her favorite pillow, covering it with drool as he slept, but Hermione for once didn't care. She was restless with that pre-Christmas jitters she got every year before the fateful day.

She had only seen the presents arrive at the end of her bed once before, and it had happened completely by mistake. An unsuspecting house elf had come into the room, balancing a stack taller than himself in his small arms when Hermione just happened to look up and see the tiny creature dispose them on the floor at the end of her bed. With a snap of his fingers, the boxes were piled neatly on top of each other on the small trunk at the foot of her bed. The elf had moved on to the next bed when he, or maybe it was she, just happened to turn it's big brown eyes on Hermione, who was now sitting in bed staring intently at the small elf go about it's business. With a loud snap, all of the presents suddenly appeared at the end of each, their own, respected places and then with a whoosh the tiny being was gone, vanished into the night.

Hermione tried to sleep, she really did, it was just impossible. She was just too excited. And Draco's snoring didn't help in the sleeping department either, by the way…

Turning, Hermione glanced at her little alarm clock and saw that it now read 12:01, something she was surprised to see. Those two minutes had seemingly flown past. Hermione glanced at the end of her bed and there were her presents and what looked like Draco's, done up in green and silvers, and scarlet's and gold's. Shoving Draco's shoulder, Hermione bounded from under the covers, the cold air hitting her like a stone wall. Draco shivered and gave Hermione a perplexed look.

"Can't you wait till the morning?" Draco asked as he tried in vain to reach the covers at the end of the bed with his hands, trying not to move from his warm spot on the mattress.

"Are you joking?" Hermione said, merrily. "I've been up all night for this! Please, this is the only year I'll make you do this, I swear."

Seemingly content for the time being, Draco sat up and wrapped the duvet around his shoulders stifling a yawn. Than he saw the clock…

"Christ! Do you know what time it is?"

Hermione looked up at Draco with one of those, do-you-really-think-I'm-that-stupid looks and started piling the presents on the bed, separating them according to color. Draco pulled his presents closer to himself on the bed, curling the duvet around his body so that he reminded Hermione of an Indian chief. Hermione piled her presents on the bed also and began to tear at the paper, throwing the remnants onto the ground. The first was from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, which just happened to be her usual knitted sweater with a capital H on the front. The next was a box from Ron that simply said, "fragile, do not break" on the front and sides. Hermione set it aside, promising to open it later. Fred and George sent her the All-Beautiful-Cat-Spray. Slightly amused Hermione read the back.

_All-Beautiful-Cat-Spray! Just aim and spray, soaking your ugly cat in a mist of beauty! Guaranteed to work on any animal, even squashed faced ginger things that shouldn't be called cats, or your money back! _

_WARNING: Not for human use, though, if you just so happen to have a large, untamable amount of bush on your head called hair, we have incorporated an ingredient for that too. Use with caution, if used improperly, it may cause large animals and beautiful hair!_

Hermione laughed slightly and called for Crookshanks. The ginger cat sauntered into the room, rubbing against the door frame and staring at Hermione with a what? look.

"Come here, Crookshanks! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!"

Crookshanks took his time coming across the room that Hermione almost reached for her wand and accioed him there faster. Draco lay down again, leaving his presents still wrapped and neatly piled next to him. Yawning, the blond haired Slytherin closed his eyes and promptly fell asleep much to Hermione's dismay, though now, she just let him alone. Finally, after what seemed like ages, and Hermione having opened at least three more presents from her parents and friends, Crookshanks made it up to the bed, pouncing onto the sheet next to Hermione and rubbing against her body, purring loudly. Taking the present from Fred and George off the bed, Hermione picked up Crookshanks and placed him in her lap, scratching his ears and keeping him happy as she handled the bottle of cat beautifier in her hand. Draco was still asleep, and Hermione knew that Fred and George would never kill Crookshanks; they know how much he means to her… right?

Taking a daring chance, Hermione sprayed some on Crookshanks who immediately howled and scratched Hermione's hands and legs in his escape. Hermione shoved Crookshanks away, who fell to the floor, withering and rolling in what could only be described as anger. The cat was then enveloped in a cloud of pink smoke that permeated the room encasing Crookshanks along with Hermione and Draco, who had woken again at the noise caused by the Head Girl and her cat.

"What the hell did you do, Hermione?"

"It was Fred and George's present for Crookshanks, I didn't do anything!"

The pink smoke began to dissolve, leaving a pink dust on everything in the room that is except for Draco, Hermione and Crookshanks. The ginger cat stood from the ground on his silky orange paws and purred loudly catching Hermione's eye. She peered over the bed at her cat to find…. A tiger? Crookshanks had been turned into a beautiful Bengal tiger… what was going on here?

Draco cleared his throat and Hermione looked at him. His appearance looked unfazed by the spell, but from the look he was giving Hermione, hers _had_ changed. And from the look on Draco's face, it was her hair.

"Is it horrible?" Hermione said, scrunching her eyes shut and slowly reaching a hand up to touch her hair. Draco reached up and grasped Hermione's hand, keeping her from running her fingers through her tresses.

"I think you're going to want to see it before you touch it, babe," Draco said, smiling while conjuring a mirror. He handed it to Hermione smiling all the while. Hermione in turn gave Draco an unsure look, scared of what the result of Fred and George's present could possibly be.

Grasping the mirror in her hands, Hermione took a deep breath and held the mirror up to her face. She almost dropped the mirror in surprise. Her usual brown bushy untamable mane that was at one point called hair was silky smooth, and straight until it reached the bottom where it dropped into large ringlets. Her boring mousy brown hair color had been changed into a soft honey color with auburn highlights.

"I must say though, that I am defiantly going to miss your lion's mane," Draco said, fingering the silky strands along with Hermione who was still in a state of shock. "And Crookshanks… I think they went just a bit overboard with that part."

Hermione couldn't get over her new hair. She loved it, she really did, but it just didn't seem like her! It was something that reminded her of the other girls who tried too hard to be something other than they were. Draco seemed to like it as well for he wouldn't stop touching her hair, running his fingers through it and just plain staring at Hermione.

"Would you stop, I already feel like an idiot enough as it is!" Hermione said, ducking her head and attempting to hide her hair in the bed sheet. Crookshanks the tiger jumped onto the bed, his grown body making the bed sag with his weight. "No! Get down Crookshanks!" Hermione said, trying to push the large cat off the bed. Draco leaned back against the headboard, putting as much distance between himself and Crookshanks as possible. "Get down you bloody cat!" Hermione gave him one last shove, causing the cat to fall off the bed rather gracefully, considering how big he was. Hermione took her wand from the bedside table and flicked it at the cat, utterly relieved when he turned back to normal size, good ol' Crookshanks, only now with tiger's stripes on his body. The cat sauntered out of the room leaving Hermione and Draco alone in Hermione's dorm.

"Well, my sexy lioness, now that we are alone, how about we-" Draco trailed off taking Hermione's presents and tossing them over to Lavender Brown's bed. The one from Ron however, fell to the ground shattering inside its box as Draco pinned Hermione underneath him on the bed. Hermione giggled and kissed Draco's lips, neither of them noticing the burst of smoke that seeped through the cracks in the box. Draco's hand was wandering along Hermione's stomach, both locked in a passionate kiss when there was a loud pop and both looked up in surprise to see,

Ron.

Ron was not happy, simply put. He was plain mad and angry, but first he was shocked. He just so happened to appear in his pajamas, and in the middle of the night, confused beyond belief, into Hermione's dorm to find her in a passionate moment with none other than Draco Malfoy. This night could honestly not get any worse…



"So, Ron, how have you been?"

"…"

"Ron, please just let me explain."

"What is there to explain? You're shagging that white haired dickless Death Eater!"

"I am not dickless, Wesel-bee. Just ask Hermione…"

"Ronald! Don't say that about Draco! And Draco, don't talk."

"Draco? So along with being his new sex toy you are on first name terms?"

"Well it would be kind of weird if he called me by my last name while we shagged, Ron."

"What?!"

"God, Ron, take a joke! Can't you just listen to me and let me explain everything?"

Ron stood from the couch he was currently inhabiting with Hermione, Draco sat opposite them in an armchair, brooding as he stared into the fire. It was awkward, seeing as this was now the second time that Ron had walked in on Hermione in a passionate moment.

"Look, there isn't a real good way I can say this, so I'll just blow your mind with the basics," Hermione said, loosing her cool demeanor. She stood and crossed her arms. Ron had been gone for the past week and as far as Hermione was concerned, he could just go back to being non-existent! No, wait, she didn't mean that! It was just that, with Ron here, everything with Draco looked exactly like what it was. A sham. A big fat ugly sham to get people to think that the supposed murderous Death Eater was a real human being beneath all the façade. And then, Hermione stopped. She knew that what was happening was wrong, that in the end, all that would happen is that her heart would break all over again, only this time the pain would be real… It wouldn't be over stolen innocence. It would be over her offered heart, her given love, and that scared her. Hermione couldn't think of life without Draco, but as she thought about, staring into Ron's big blue eyes, she realized that life _with_ Draco was impossible. He was impossible. There were no other options but to just, end it, and end it now.

Ron gave Hermione a confused look. He seemed to truly be questioning her sanity. Draco looked over at the two, fused hatred and jealousy lingering on his face as he watched the two friends interact. He knew about Weasley's infatuation with his girlfriend. And he knew that deep down Hermione had suppressed feelings for the red-headed asshole.

And then it happened; it happened in a blink of an eye. One second Hermione and Ron are having a stare-down, the next Hermione is giving Draco a pleading look, begging for forgiveness and then in the course of two agonizing seconds that would lead to the imminent and most painful death of Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger took two, daring steps and placed her hands on either side of the startled boys face before pressing her lips onto Ronald Weasley's in a passionate lip-lock.

**A/N **

**Hey my lovely reviewers! Thank you so much for actually reviewing and I'm so sorry that it has taken so long for me to post this!!!!! I know everything's unexpected, but trust me on this; it'll all work out.**


	8. SURPRISE!

Chapter Eight: Unexplained Affections

She heard him leave sooner than what was expected. She expected rants and raves, maybe even a few curses here and there. What she got were a pair of feet stomping up and into her room and Ron's hands at her waist, holding her slowing changing body closer to his lean form.

Hermione suddenly broke away, her heart catching in her throat, almost so that she couldn't breath. What had she done? She had love, _true_ love in her hands! And she tossed it away as though it were a fickle farce.

There were footsteps on the stairs, and both Hermione and Ron turned to look. Draco glided down the stone steps lithely. He was fully dressed and carrying a small box in his hands. Draco thrust the small parcel into Hermione's hands and said, "I hope you like it, though by the looks of it, you won't be needing it." Draco's voice was hard, cold, … _mean_. Hermione hadn't heard it like this in so long that it scared her how easily it came back. Ron glared at the package and at Draco. He seemed to know what it was.

The box burned in Hermione's hands. She stared at it; the portrait closed. Suddenly, whipping her head up, she saw that she was alone with Ron; the wrong Prince Charming. There was a pounding in her ears and her heart beat faster and louder than ever before, she was sure that Ron could hear it. Black dots formed before her eyes and Hermione saw Ron reach out to steady her. Hermione yanked her arm away and stumbled out of the common room just in time to see Draco's black cloaked figure turn the corner at the end of the hall.

"Draco!" Hermione screamed at the top of her lungs. She clutched the small box in her small hands and took off running after him. Ron stood in the portrait entrance, utterly confused.

What had she done? Why? She could have just told Ron the truth, that she and Draco Malfoy were in love and there was nothing that could ever change that. But of course, smart Hermione didn't think before acting and kissed another in front of her beloved, breaking his heart. A clean break. She could hear her feet as they pounded on the marble floors, her bathrobe flying out behind her, like a banner in the wind.

Hermione followed Draco to the Entrance Hall where she stopped at the head of the stairs to see him waiting for her at the great doors. Tears streamed down both of their faces, though Hermione was less composed than Draco. She nearly fell down the stairs in her desperate attempt to reach him, while he stood, his back rigid and his body motionless, but for his eyes. The once silver pools of open emotion were black, like charcoal and full of hatred following his former love as she neared him, chocking sobs leaving her throat. Hermione stumbled up to him and reached out with her free hand to touch his cheek. Draco took a step out of Hermione's reach, an incredulous look on his visage.

"I hate you, Hermione Granger," Draco said. The words stung deep, just as he meant them to. "Die, you filthy. Little. Mudblood."

New tears sprang to Hermione's eyes. She fell to the floor just as Draco left through the door, his black cloak swishing through the air. Hermione looked at the little box in her hands and tore off the ribbon and the paper. She lifted the lid on the black box and nearly fainted in both surprise and dread. A beautiful ring, with a ruby center and pale pink diamonds surrounding it lay upon a blanket of black silk. An engagement ring. Hermione screamed at the top of her lungs a cry of anguish, falling to her side and letting the tears fall freely now, dry heaving so much that it hurt her throat and stomach.

And then, Hermione woke up.

She was lying in Draco's bed, in his dormitory, just as she had been the night she fell asleep, on Christmas Eve. She could feel Draco's strong arms around her, feel his strong chest rise and fall against her back with every breath. Hermione took a couple of deep breaths and looked at the clock. It read 12:01. Hermione looked at the end of her bed and there, neatly piled was a stack of Christmas presents. Lying on the very top was a package that Hermione clearly recognized from where she lay; it was done up in scarlet paper and tied with a black bow. She could barely decipher Ron's messy scrawl on the card. She felt her heart catch in her throat. Hurriedly, Hermione climbed from the bed, careful not to disturb Draco. She took up the parcel from Ron and ran from Draco's dormitories, headed out of the Slytherin common room and walked to long lonely trek to Gryffindor Tower. Upon entering the tower, Hermione opened up the box carefully, and pulled out a box and a letter. Setting the box on the table, Hermione opened the letter and read,

_Dearest Hermione,_

_There are so many things I would love to tell you, so many things that I never will, merely because I am too afraid. I hope that you will take this present and know of my affections. If you do not react in the most distinctive ways, I will understand and whole heartedly understand that your heart still lies with another. I'll always be here Hermione, never forget that I will never leave you, no matter the circumstances._

_I love you,_

_Ron_

Hermione folded the letter and let it drop to the floor. Ron thought that she was still in love with Harry? She had never loved Harry in the first place. Hermione fell to her knees, tears falling from her eyes. Everything was just so messed up. Spotting the box still on the table, Hermione opened the lid and promptly let it fall to the ground. A single stoned diamond sat on a gold band, encased by the silk cloth of the box. There was movement behind Hermione; she turned. Draco had come into the Gryffindor common room. He looked at the box and at Hermione who had tear tracks running down her cheeks.

"He's loved you for so long, Hermione."

"I know," Hermione replied, setting the box and ring on the table. Her heart was so confused…

"Do you love him?" Draco asked, unsure. His heart pounded in his chest frighteningly fast. The only love of his life was considering another, and it killed him.

Hermione sighed. "Yes, I do love Ron."

Draco face hardened; Hermione stood.

"But in ways much different than I love you, Draco. I love you for your bravery and your love. I love you for being strong, though you know not of half the times you are. You are kind and respectful, one thing that Ron is, but can hide so quickly," Hermione closed the distance between Draco and herself, wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her forehead against his. Draco sighed and wrapped his arms around Hermione's waist. "I love _you_ Draco. I love only you. I don't want Ron's ring, I don't want the love that Ron is offering. I want you; I want us."

It was in that brief moment that Hermione sealed her fate; she and Draco Malfoy were simply meant to be, there weren't any exceptions. And, she realized, that that was okay, that was what she wanted. The mere fact that the love of her life turned out to be someone so wonderful, so grand made Hermione smile lovingly, touching Draco's face in the process. They smiled; they kissed; they loved. They had a merry Christmas; the first of many.

♥

On the day before the start of classes, when everyone was due to be returning home, Hermione started her period. She had read about pregnancies, read all the details and known that this didn't always mean that she had had a miscarriage. It was the stress of seeing Ron again after having sent him a detailed letter explaining that she did love another, though it was not Harry; she could never love him, or Ron, for that matter.

In the infirmary, Madame Pomfrey administered to Hermione like she would any normal patient; with kind words and firm discipline, scowling in both disbelief and horror that had befallen the school in the past thirty years she had worked there. Draco was by her side always; so much so that Pomfrey began to think that Draco was the father. Neither Hermione nor Draco really cared who anyone thought the father was; inside they both knew that Draco would father the child, raise him better than anyone else could, given the circumstances of whose child it was.

Draco Malfoy would never know the true reasons he felt the way he did for Hermione Granger. The most difficult part was actually accepting that he had indeed fallen in love with her; once past that, it was extremely easy seeing them 'together forever'.

Hermione worried herself as she sat in the hospital wing. Any moment now, Ron would come bursting through the door, pull back the curtain hiding Hermione's bed and discover her dark truths. How she was pregnant with Harry Potter's child, in love with Draco Malfoy, and hoping that she would never have to marry Ron Weasley, as horrible as that sounds. It wasn't that Ron was unlovable. He was intolerable. He was sweet and charming; he was selfish and hard-headed, the exact opposite of what she truly needed, what she desired and had found in Draco.

"Stop worrying, love, it'll be alright," Draco said later as he sat in the stiff wooden chair next to Hermione's bed, his school work spread out across the white sheets.

Wringing her hands together around the thicker top sheet, Hermione sighed and said, "How can I not? Ron'll be pissed as hell, and then he'll think I'm pregnant with _your_ baby instead of Harry's!"

Draco leant in closer and said, "Well you could be pregnant with my child…"

"Not now, Draco I- What did you say?"

Smirking that sexy side-grin he had going for him, Draco leant in closer and kissed Hermione below her ear lobe; her soft spot. He took her left hand in his own and traced kisses across her cheek to her lips, holding her soft hands in his larger, rougher ones.

"How much do you love me, Hermione?" Draco asked seriously, pulling away.

Hermione smiled and let her head rest on the headboard. "More than anything in the world."

"Than will you do anything in the world for me?" Draco asked softly, his grey eyes intense.

Narrowing her eyes, Hermione replied with, "Depends on what it is…"

"It's nothing bad Hermione, god," Draco said impatiently. Hermione grew quiet staring down at the starched white sheet with disdain. Draco regretted having said his words so gruffly. He placed a hand on her cheek and forced her eyes to look into his. "I want to ask you something…"

Hermione shifted her weight, focusing her full attention on Draco. She looked like she did once she was in class; always afraid to miss a note or remark from the teacher. "Okay."

"Will you marry me?" Draco said. He pulled out a ruby sapphire ring, embraced by diamonds all around it. Hermione looked down at the beautiful ring and back at Draco, unable to keep a smile off of her face.

"Yes!" Hermione said softly. Draco slid the small ring on Hermione's ring finger and embraced her, kissing her lips passionately.

Suddenly there was a commotion on the other side of the curtain. It was pulled back quite forcefully to reveal Hermione and Draco still wrapped up together in each other's arms.

"So it's true than?" Ron said, anger dripping into his voice. "You really have gone mad and started to date that scumbag!"

"Don't call Draco names, Ronald!"

"Oh, shut up, Hermione!" Ron said suddenly. Hermione was stunned into silence; Draco seethed with anger. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing? He's going to do the same thing he's done to every girl in his life! Get what he wants and then get out! What was that saying you used to have Malfoy? 'Get in; get on; get out'? Have you had your fill of Hermione yet, Malfoy? What are you going to do if she gets pregnant? Hermione, did he tell you he would love you? Did he tell you that he would do anything for you?"

Hermione began to cry. Draco sat rigid in his chair. "Don't go there, Weasley!"

Ron's face turned a delicate shade of purple. "It's too late for that Malfoy! What did you do to Pansy? Didn't you just get her pregnant, leave her on her own, letting her family cover up the mess by sending her away?"

It was a known fact that Draco and Pansy had dated last year. It was also a known fact that Ron and Pansy harbored secret feelings for one another, unbeknownst to Draco would continued on through life as though he were perfectly happy; the poster of perfect pureblooded relationships.

To say in the least, Hermione was shocked. She remembered that Pansy had been sent away, but the true details had remained disclosed, and instead bullshit answers had been given in their place, turning into the nastiest of rumors.

Draco's face turned a dark shade of pink; the closest he had to anger.

"If you don't recall, Weasley, it was YOU who got Pansy pregnant!"

Hermione gasped. Ron looked dumbfounded.

"Oh, yes, I said it. I revealed your one secret. It was I who found the two of you in that broom closet, it was me who promised Pansy to take the blame for your stupid mistakes, and it was me who has to pay child support for your damn child!" Draco said, livid. "Don't accuse me of being a selfish, horny prat who takes whatever has legs and wears a skirt, Weasley."

All was quiet for a moment. Madame Pomfrey stepped out of the shadows, ignored by her students.

"What would your mother think, Weasley?" Draco whispered.

There were black dots before Hermione's eyes; Draco and Ron kept slipping in and out of her vision. Draco noticed her first, noticed that she slumped back onto the bed in a deep faint. Ron backed away a knowing look on his face.

"She was pregnant wasn't she?" he asked into the air.

Draco turned and said, "What do you mean 'she was pregnant'? She _is_ pregnant! With Harry's kid!"

Ron was truly shocked. He didn't know what to say; he didn't know how to react. Than he pointed to the bed at Hermione's form and said, "Well, she's not anymore…"

Gathered around Hermione's lower body, staining the sheets and her clothes a deep shade of beautiful scarlet, was blood.



Hermione came to sometime during the night. She felt the weight of Draco's ring on her finger. She also felt the emptiness inside her body.

Draco stirred in the chair next to the bed. Noticing Hermione was awake, he leaned forward and said, "Oh, Hermione."

Placing her fingers to Draco's lips, Hermione said what he could not. She confirmed the fact that she knew deep inside her bones.

"I had a miscarriage didn't I?"

Unable to do anything else, Draco nodded his head yes.

Hermione began to cry for lack of anything better to do. Draco wanted to pretend that she was only crying because she wasn't going to be a mother after all; he like the idea of the baby being 'theirs', not Hermione and Harry's and Draco's.

She cried until her throat was sore and there weren't any tears left in her eyes. She cried until she was sure that the hollow feeling in her body wasn't only because of her lost child. She had cried to give the excuse that not only was she not pregnant, she was dehydrated as well. There was nothing left in Hermione Granger's body. Nothing but the simple love she harbored for the certain platinum haired beauty next to her.

Placing a hand on her stomach, Hermione rolled to her side, her back to Draco and curled up in a ball. The last thing she remembered was Draco climbing in with her and encasing her within his strong arms. She was safe; she was empty; she was loved…

**A/N**

**I know this has taken forever. I had absolutely no idea what to do with it… but I think it turned out nicely.**

**Please review!**

**Thanks for everything guys!!!!!**


	9. How Good Can It Be?

**A/N Due to many recent reviews and how many ideas I've been receiving, I've decided to drop the last chapter. Honestly, it was something that I wrote on a whim… with no where else to go. A lot of y'all have been saying that I should write a novel, and I actually am! Its working title is _Narcotic_ and my boyfriend thinks it's really good but he has to say that! I'm planning on getting it published when it's done, so yeah. Anyways, keep the ideas comin' and I'll keep on writing what y'all want. Thanks for all your support!**

♥ **Kelsey ♥**

Chapter Nine: How Good Can It Be?

Hermione's eyelids fluttered open. Her body remained still as she stared at the white curtain surrounding her bed. Around her waist she could feel his arms, tight, protective as they always were.

Last night had been… confusing, to say in the least. Ron had gotten Pansy Parkinson pregnant? What was this world coming to? They've hated each other for God knows how long. Or at least, that's what Hermione thought.

There were the sound of footsteps on the other side of the curtain and Hermione quickly closed her eyes, opening them to tiny slits to see the shadow of Madame Pomfrey pass by her bed. Hermione sighed and relaxed her tense body. And then she remembered.

"I had a miscarriage," She whispered. Though she tried to make them go away, tears formed at her eyes, burning, begging to be released. Wiping an angry hand at her eyes, Hermione coughed the lump in her throat gone. She felt Draco stirring behind her on the bed, but she didn't move. She felt too empty for physical movement.

"Are you awake?" Draco asked. Hermione felt his cool hand on her arm, light, but heavy on her skin. "Hermione?"

Hermione didn't answer, but she didn't close her eyes either. She felt stupid and bad for ignoring him, especially when he said that he was going to go down to breakfast and wanted to know what it was that she needed. It was the sound of his retreating footsteps, making angry pounds on the stone floor that allowed that first tear to fall. After that it was like an avalanche of cold tears, tracing paths down her cheeks.

"Miss Granger?"

Turning her head, Hermione peered up at Madame Pomfrey and saw a tray of potions in her hands.

Giving Hermione a sympathetic look, Madame Pomfrey stepped closer to the bed and deposited the tray on the bedside table. She placed a warm hand on Hermione's forehead, sending out more comfort to the worn girl than what she had realized.

"I'm sorry, but we need to give you these potions, just to make sure that nothing is happening inside you that will cause you worse pain and maybe even keep you from having children ever. Is that okay?" Madame Pomfrey said her high pitched voice surprisingly low. Hermione merely nodded her head and did all the things that Pomfrey instructed her to. She stood when she was supposed to and even went and peed in those little cups they give you in muggle hospitals without complaint. "Okay, now I know that you might have been to one of these in the muggle world, but the wizarding world has a few of their own. This is Dr. Hurnfrost, she's an OB/GYN. She's going to check your insides and everything to make sure your in working order."

Hermione looked at the gynecologist with disdain. She had had to go every summer since she was fifteen, and never came back with a pleasant story to tell. Once she had accidentally farted in the doctor's face when she inserted to instruments into her and applied pressure. But all the doctor did was hold her breath and keep going, leaving a red-faced Hermione lying on the table and wishing to just die from embarrassment. Another time was way too embarrassing to think about, so she blinked a couple of times and nodded her head, following the doctor into a separate room out of the main wing.

"Okay, now I'm going to need you to change out of your gown and into this," Dr. Hurnfrost said, holding out a blue paper gown with an open front and little strings to keep it closed. "I'll be back in a few minutes when you're done."

Dr. Hurnfrost laid the blanket on the table and left, leaving Hermione to ponder escacpe routes and then feel stupid. She was slipping her gown off of her body, which was rapidly changing now and her underwear when she heard Draco's voice. He appeared to be talking to Madame Pomfrey over whether or not he should be allowed into the room with Hermione. To be honest, Hermione didn't mind. Maybe it would take the edge off of things and allow her to just relax. Slipping the thin paper gown onto her shoulders, Hermione held the sides closed and walked over to the door.

Madame Pomfrey and Draco were having a go at one another. The two plates in Draco's hands, laden with food, seemed forgotten as there was food flying everywhere with each hand gesture and neither one of them seemed to care. Dr. Hurnfrost was sitting on a bed closest to the room Hermione was in and watched the two interact with amusement.

"Maybe we should ask Hermione what it is that she wants," Dr. Hurnfrost said, noticing Hermione standing at the door. Madame Pomfrey and Draco stopped their bickering and turned to Hermione.

" I don't know if you realize it or not, Hurnfrost, but these two individuals are STUDENTS and not the patients you see at your office! It is not appropriate for them to be together in her exam like- like a-"

"Couple?" Hermione said, filling in the last of Madame Pomfrey's sentence. Draco smirked at the old woman and started to walk towards Hermione and the room. Hermione let him pass and watched as he set the plates down on a table on the far side of the room and look at the examination table with a what-have-I-gotten-myself-into-? look.

Madame Pomfrey turned on her heel and stormed into her office, muttering about spoiled students and how everyone was out to make her look bad, and that if Dumbledore were to find out, god knows what would happen.

Hurnfrost ambled along into the room and told Hermione to lie down on the table. Draco walked over, eyeing the silver instruments on a tray next to doctor with apprehension. "What are those for?"

"To help me see better with," Hurnfrost replied simply.

Draco looked at Hermione, raking his eyes down her body before back to the doctor. "Help you see where?"

"You'll see," Hurnfrost said. "Now, Miss Granger, place your feet in the stirrups please."

Hermione did as she was told, glad that Draco was next to her head at that moment. Dr. Hurnfrost put on some rubber gloves and began the exam. Draco watched with a disgusted look on his face at what was happening. The most that had ever happened to him was that he had to undergo a physical to be on the quidditch team. They made him and the rest of the team stand naked while a doctor went and examined not only their body strength and checked for scoliosis and the like, but also their bits and pieces. The worst part was when they pressed their gloved fingers into his groin right next to one of his addendums and almost made Draco puke with the feeling that he had just been racked.

"Alright, now you're going to feel something cold," Dr. Hurnfrost said, picking up one of the silver instruments. Draco nearly fainted when he saw what the doctor did with it. Hermione's face tightened slightly at the pressure. With a few more prods and pokes, Dr. Hurnfrost removed the instrument from Hermione and replaced it on the tray. Hermione relaxed again. Somehow having Draco there looking paler than normal and squeezing the feeling out of her hand made it all better. At least he'd be prepared when they had kids of their own. Hermione stopped. "Kids of their own"? She didn't want to be thinking about children being anyone's, let alone hers.

"Well, everything appears to be in working order. Your body seems to be taking the appropriate measures to compensate for your loss. All that I recommend is that you not partake in any physical activity, of any kind as that will cause you to bleed more, and also cause your healing to be stalled. If you have any more questions here's my card where you can reach me," Dr. Hurnfrost said, handing the card to Hermione who had sat up on the table, removing her feet from the stirrups.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure," Hurnfrost said, leaving the couple alone in the Hospital Wing's antechamber.

Draco sat in one of the chairs, listening to Pomfrey and Hurnfrost communicating in the next room. The old nurse still sounded perturbed at what had transpired between them earlier. Hermione stood from the table and grasped her nightgown in her hands. She had changed in front of him before, Lord, she had slept with him. It was just strange to be changing with her fiancé in the same room and a teacher/nurse is in the room next door, knowing that you have to change.

"Don't look," Hermione said, surprising Draco.

"What?" He asked. Hermione had never been self-conscious before. Matter of fact, she was the one who could walk around naked easier than he could. Must be because she had guys for friends.

Hermione looked sheepish, holding her nightgown to her chest and standing in the way too big paper gown the doctor had given her. Her eyes were pleading, "Please?"

Draco turned his back to her, listening to the sounds of the paper gown as she crumbled it up and then as she put on her nightgown. "Can I turn around now?"

"Yeah."

When Draco turned, Hermione was throwing the paper gown away in one of the trash cans. Her ruby engagement ring glittered in the soft light. Draco walked up to Hermione and embraced her. Taken off guard, Hermione stood there with her arms at her sides before she responded. It was going to be hard, that she knew, but at least she had someone there with her to help her cope with it all.

♥

Two days later found Hermione and Draco in the Great Hall. Hermione refused to leave Draco's side, almost as though she were afraid that he too would be taken away from her, and Draco used her new found clingy-ness as a good way to ease into the whole Changed-Supposed-Death-Eater-Dating-Mudblood-to-Prove-It phase. Ron hadn't tried to talk to Hermione after the episode in the Hospital Wing. Surprising? I think not. Pansy had made an unexpected return to school, fat and with that look of a woman who has just had a baby; beautiful in its own way.

"So, Draco how have you been?" Pansy asked. She was seated on the opposite side of Draco. As she asked her question she leaned over across him, brushing her now abnormally large chest against his forearm. Hermione glared at her from Draco's other side, ripping the roll in her hands apart rather murderously. Along with being clingy, Hermione was now jealous. So much so that if any unsuspecting girl so much as looked at Draco it was enough for her to almost hex them into oblivion.

"Better when you were gone, horrible since you've arrived," Draco said, sliding away closer to Hermione who was now stabbing her chicken as she cut every bite. Draco took the knife from her hands and placed it on the other side of his plate so that she wouldn't get any rash ideas and go all psycho, crazy-axe-murderer on Pansy. Hermione looked a little put-out, but redeemed it by deciding to make Pansy as jealous as possible.

Placing her hand, fingers spread, on Draco's thigh, she rubbed her hand up and down his leg coming dangerously close to his men. Draco took a quick intake of breath and looked at Hermione who was currently taking a long drink from her pumpkin juice. Blaise Zabini watched with interest at what was happening, though no one paid him any mind. Pansy pouted and looked out across the hall at Ron who was sitting with Seamus and Dean probably talking quidditch, ignoring Pansy and the rest of the people sitting at the Slytherin table. Draco placed his hand over Hermione's and repositioned it so that it was closer to his knee.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Draco whispered in her ear.

Hermione glared back at Draco, lowering her voice as well as she said, "She's acting like a whore, Draco, and you know it. Plus, I don't know, I've just been getting really jealous lately."

"Yes," Draco said, giving Hermione's hand a squeeze. "I know."

The rest of dinner was rather uneventful, seeing as Pansy had taken to staring wistfully as Ron and Hermione having to not worry about Pansy flirting with Draco anymore, ate her food peacefully and relaxed next to Draco. The greatest disturbance to their meal was about halfway through when Professor Dumbledore stood to his feet and made an announcement.

"First, I would like to say that I hope that each and every one of you had a very merry Christmas," Dumbledore's blue eyes scanned the room. Draco's hold on Hermione's hand tightened. "Now, I know that at the beginning of the year, there was not a Head Boy and Girl chosen, giving the fact that the war had just ended and we lost many who were dear to our hearts. But now that we have completed the first half of the year and have been given sufficient amount of time to grieve, I would like to announce who our Head Boy and Girl is! They are both top students, and I hope that their being together to strive through this year will help bring inter-house unity now more than ever."

Hermione and Draco shared a look. It had to be them, who else had the experience with hatred and love like they did? Plus, they were the two top students of their year.

"Now, when I call your name, I would like it if you would please stand, come to the front of the hall and receive your badge," Dumbledore said, looking Hermione and Draco's way.

Without realizing it, Hermione began to smile, excitement traveling through her body. Finally, she and Draco would have a place all to themselves.

"Ladies first… The newest Head Girl of Hogwarts is Miss Hermione Granger!"

There was polite applause throughout the hall. Everyone knew that it would be her. No one else could surpass Hermione in anything school related.

Hermione stood from the Slytherin table and walked to the front of the hall, a bounce in her step. Taking the badge from Professor McGonagall, her head of house, she turned and nearly ran down the raised dais back to Draco. She hadn't been this happy in ages.

"And now, for the Head Boy. It took us a while to decide who would be the best candidate, but with many meetings and deliberations, we have come to the conclusion that Mr. Blaise Zabini shall fill the role of Head Boy."

Blaise stood from his seat, smug beyond recognition. His shiny black hair gleamed with a blue hue as he walked beneath the lit torches of the hall towards the Head Table. Hermione and Draco sat dumb-founded in their seats, following Zabini with their eyes as he accepted his badge from Professor Snape and returned to the Slytherin table. His eyes met with Hermione's briefly and she felt the oddest sensation course through her body. It was like he was threatening her just by simply looking at her. Hermione and Blaise kept looking at each other every now and then throughout dinner, both with dangerous thoughts in their minds.

**A/N Ok, there it is…. Hope y'all like this one better. I know I do, I can figure where to go with it now that it's changed the entire story plot. You know the drill, R&R!!**


	10. Honey and the Moon

**A/N For those of you who would like to know what the first part of my novel is like, just go to my profile and there's a little preview posted up there! R&R!**

Chapter Ten: Honey and the Moon

"Miss Granger, would you please accompany me to your new dorm?" Dumbledore said after dinner. Blaise stood behind him, his arms were crossed and a smirk was plastered on his face. It didn't have the same effect that Draco's did, she was pleased to note.

"I can't stay in Gryffindor Tower?" Hermione asked hopefully. She felt Draco's hand on hers tighten.

Dumbledore furrowed his white brows together and said, "Miss Granger, I was under the impression that you no longer slept in Gryffindor Tower by the obvious displays of affection you seem to hold for Slytherin.

Hermione stood from the table and gave Draco a look saying that she would come and look for him. The old professor led his two students out of the Great Hall and into a separate wing close to the kitchens. It was a floor above the dungeons and the Slytherin common room. Blaise was quiet which suited Hermione just fine seeing as to how little she wanted to be in his presence to begin with.

They neared a picture of a beautiful woman with long black curly hair in the embrace of a man with brown hair. The lovers were talking amongst themselves, both dressed in that of something from the late nineteenth century. In the background, Hermione could just barely decipher the image of another man. His sleek black was slicked back and half of his face was covered by a white mask. It was a scene from the Phantom of the Opera.

Clearing his throat, Dumbledore watched the young couple as they broke apart rather sheepishly and greeted the headmaster. "I believe that it was agreed that you would be the ones to tell the Head Boy and Girl the password to their common room?"

"Yes, Raoul, would you do the honors?" The girl said, resting a loving hand on Raoul's arm.

"With pleasure, Christine," Raoul said, sharing a knowing look with the girl.

Blaise tapped his foot impatiently, though Hermione watched with amusement. She always had been a romantic at heart.

"Oh," Raoul said, clearing his throat and allowing a slight blush to creep onto his pale cheeks. "The password is 'Masquerade'."

"Masquerade?" Blaise said, scoffing. "Isn't it supposed to be about inter-house unity and love and all that crap?"

"But it is about love," Christine said, her doe-brown eyes looking at Blaise for a moment before returning to her beloved Raoul. The figure in the background shifted in the shadows, the white of his mask glowing and then fading. "It was at a masquerade that Raoul proposed!"

"Aha!" The Phantom said, jumping out of the shadows. Christine and Raoul broke apart like two guilty teenagers being caught going at it in an empty classroom. The Phantom stormed up to Christine and produced a silver chain and engagement ring from the folds of her gown. "You belong to me, Christine," Erik said, his voice silky smooth. Christine's eyes clouded over for a moment as the trio watched the scene with renewed interest. "Come back with me, escape from this dark prison and allow your dreams to take flight. Come and make the music of the night with me; I cannot do it alone."

Christine and Erik, the Phantom disappeared out of the portrait. Hermione could hear Christine giggle every now and then and then hear the Phantom say something more to her. She looked over to Raoul who was picking at his nails in a very Malfoy-like fashion.

"Aren't you going to go after her?" Hermione asked the brunette. He paused in his examination of his cuticles and looked at Hermione like she had two heads.

"No," he said simply.

"Why not?" Hermione said. She had grown up listening to the Broadway musical with her mother. This was not a part of the script.

Raoul let his hand drop to his side and sighed loudly. "She'll be back. God, this happens like every hour."

Hermione's eyes narrowed. Raoul sounded very much so like a … girl.

Dumbledore cleared his throat again and said the password, allowing the two Head's to enter first. Hermione looked around the common room not really all that impressed. It looked like the Gryffindor common room and the Slytherin common room mixed together; it was depressing. Where the warm golds and reds were just that warm and inviting in Gryffindor Tower, here mixed with the drab, depressing silvers and deep emeralds, it did nothing but make her feel sick and want to fade away to someplace happy. She sank into one of the armchairs by the fire which was lit and roaring merrily in the grate. _Well at least the chair's comfy._ Hermione thought as she stood again and followed Dumbledore in the tour of their common room. He showed them to the small study that had walls of bookshelves rather than actual walls. There were two desks and a comfy looking sofa. They walked back out of the study and up a flight of stairs to a second floor. There was a corridor with two sets of doors. At the end of the hall was a cherry colored table with a vase of lilies before a stained glass window of the founders of Hogwarts. Rowena Ravenclaw and Salazar Slytherin were making eyes at each other whilst Hufflepuff and Gryffindor appeared to be conspiring a way to get them apart.

"This is your room, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said, gesturing towards a door to his left.

"You know professor, I always feel so old when you address me by my last name," Hermione said, taking a few steps towards her room. "Please, just call me Hermione. It's easier."

"As you wish," Dumbledore said, his blue eyes twinkling.

Hermione said her thanks to the professor before closing the door. She knew her duties, no need to stand around and listen to them again.

She was surprised by her room. She was expecting house colors, something she had grown accustomed to with the Gryffindor dorms and also the Slytherins… Her room was painted a deep teal, like the color of a Tiffany's box. The dresser was black with gold filigree work done on the drawers and also the surface. Her bed was also the same black wood with gold filigree patterns going up the bedposts. There was a sheer white gauzy fabric on her canopy. Her nightstand were painted black, forgoing the gold designs. They were accompanied with two tall silver lamps. The bed itself was a large queen. The comforter was white with teal and gold designs stitched into the cover. She found it absolutely breath taking. This was her dream room.

Taking a few extra steps she opened the door to her bathroom and was happy to find the light green walls and granite fixtures. "My, God, this place was made for a princess."

There was a tapping at Hermione's window. She left her bathroom and walked back through her new bedroom to the window. A large owl with black and grey feathers sat regally on her window sill. The owl held out its leg with a rather bored expression and drifted into her room, perching himself on her dresser. Hermione opened the letter and sighed with a smile on her face.

_H.-_

_Where's your room? What window? Just leave it open with a flower or something in it and I shall find you. They can't keep me away. Love you,_

_-D._

Hermione scribbled the location of her room after looking out her window for anything that could be used as a landmark. She ran back out into the hall and took a lily from the vase before the window of the four founders. Pausing she looked at the window to find that Rowena and Salazar were now wrapped in a passionate embrace while Helga looked jealous and Godric bore an expression of "now what?"

Dismissing the window Hermione hurried back into her room and wrote the ending to her letter. She tied the letter to the owl's leg and watched as it flew off towards the owlery. Placing the lily on the window sill, Hermione left the window open and sat on her bed waiting for him to arrive.

Five minutes later and Draco was soaring up to the window ledge. He seemed aggravated for some reason. Hermione stood from the bed and took his broom from his hands, leaning it against the wall.

"What's wrong?" She asked wrapping her arms around his neck cautiously. When Draco Malfoy was mad it was best to just leave him be till he sorted things out himself. But this time he surprised her; he wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned his forehead against hers.

"I don't like this. I don't like you being this close to Zabini," Draco said softly, though Hermione could hear the anger in his voice.

"Nothing's going to happen to me, Love," Hermione said just as softly, pulling Draco closer to her.

Draco pulled back a little, seething. "You don't know that! What if he really is the future Dark Lord or any of that other crap they said he would be?"

Hermione didn't say anything. She knew that if she did, it would only make it worse, much, much worse, so she settled for resting her head on his chest and wrapping her arms around his torso, making the appropriate noises to what he was saying when the time arose. After ten minutes of ranting, Draco stopped and releasing Hermione went to the bed where he fell atop the sheets and draped his arm over his eyes, blocking out the light from the bedside lamps. Hermione followed him, perching herself on the side of the bed and resting her hand on his stomach.

"Where is he?"

"Last I knew he was across the hall in his own dorm," Hermione said, pushing up Draco's shirt and rubbing her hand in a comforting manner over his smooth skin. Her fingers found the little trail of blond hair leading into the top of his pants and twirled it between her pointer and thumb. Draco sighed and moved his arm. He stared up at the ceiling and pouted.

"I think he's too close," Draco said finally still not looking at Hermione.

"Well then, either you can stay here with me and stop worrying about it or you can go to Dumbledore and beg him to give you the position of Head Boy instead of Zabini," Hermione said, letting her hand slide down off of his body and rest on the white comforter.

Pouting even more Draco asked in a whiny voice, "Can't I have both?"

"No," Hermione said in the same whiny voice causing Draco to look at her with a funny expression. "Just kidding."

"Well that settles it, I'm staying here," Draco said. He stood from the bed and walked across the room to grab his broom. He was about to mount it when Hermione spoke up.

"I thought you were staying here."

"Love, as much as I know you love it when I walk around naked all the time, I will need clothes for class and the small fact that Zabini is here and I really don't want him to see all my manly bits and pieces," Draco waddled over to Hermione, one leg still on either side of the broom. Hermione smiled as he kissed her cheek and waddled back over to the window. "I'll be right back. Lock your door!"

Hermione watched the platinum blond soar out of the window and down to the low windows that shone little light into the Slytherin dormitories. She took the lily and conjured up a small vase and water and placed it on her bedside table. She then locked the door, mainly because she didn't want to hear what it was that Draco would say or do if he found out that she hadn't.

Sighing, Hermione walked over to her bathroom, assuming she had some time before Draco returned to take a shower. Closing the door, Hermione stripped of her clothing and started the water. She glanced briefly at herself in the mirror, at her steadily thinning body and stepped into the shower stall, closing the curtain behind her.

The water droplets felt refreshing on her skin. The warmness was just the right temperature and the pellets beat into her skin in a massaging manner. She was so immersed in the shower and water that she never heard the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing, or the sound of someone's belt buckle hitting the marble floor. It was only when the shower curtain was gently pulled back that she whipped around, her wet hair sticking to her chin with her surprised movements.

"I thought I told you to lock your door," Draco said, cornering her in the small stall. Hermione placed her hands on his shoulders and replied with, "I did."

"Oh, did you?" Draco said a smile on his lips while he came closer. "I didn't really check; it was just an excuse to get in here."

"Like you ever need an excuse," Hermione said turning away and grabbing the shampoo bottle. She was squirting some of the liquid into her open palm when she felt Draco's body press against hers. She had to fight the arousing feeling that started between her legs and traveled up her body. Draco's hands touched her, first her stomach and then they separated, one traveling north, the other south. Hermione let the shampoo rinse off of her hands as she felt Draco's fingers do their magic on her. She turned and allowed him to push her against the wall, his erection the only thing keeping Draco from pushing his stomach fully against hers. Hermione wound her fingers in his wet locks and kissed his neck and his ears, moving up to his jaw and lips. Draco kissed her back with so much pent-up passion. They hadn't been this close in a couple of days, ever since the other students had arrived back to school.

They kissed for a bit, teasing one another until Draco couldn't help but take her then and there.

Their love was different than most. While others felt love and more lust after the other, they were soon ones to discover that all sex did was fulfill the pleas their bodies made for one another. Draco and Hermione made love to one another to _prove_ their love. It wasn't just a thing they did to release themselves; it was a necessity, something they did to show just how much the other meant to them. And each caress, each kiss and small touch was enough to show it.

True, it had taken Hermione a while to not associate the feelings Harry had given her about sex with Draco, but then Draco had shown her that he didn't want to have sex with her because at any time they could die. He wanted to make love to her, to shower her with all the affections he had inside himself and more. She was the only person who had meant this much to him; she was the only person in the entire world of whom he could ever think of saying I Love You to and actually mean it.

Draco and Hermione had made love in the shower before but this time it felt different. There wasn't a baby in Hermione, and especially one that belonged to another man. There were just them and only them, and as Hermione thought about it, the feeling became rather welcomed and was received with a certain happiness. Draco kissed her neck, pumping into her and biting at the tender flesh when he felt her body push against his, her back arching slightly against the tiled wall. He pulled his face back and looked into her honey eyes as they both started to come and Hermione whispered his name ever so softly into the air. Her voice was husky and soft, the way it always was when she was aroused. He bit his lip and let himself go, enjoying the feeling of Hermione around him as she rubbed her wet body against his own. When the last of his strength left his tired legs, he pulled out of her and leaned against the wall, trapping her between him and the tile. Hermione held him, her hands slipping up and down his slick skin. The water was starting to get cold so Hermione turned the knob to a hotter setting and took the shampoo bottle from the shelf again, happiness settling in her body. She lathered some of the coconut smelling liquid into Draco's locks and watched the relaxed expression come over him. His eyes were closed and it would appear that the only thing keeping him from falling over was his hands which had his arms locked against the wall.

Opening his eyes, Draco stepped under the water and rinsed his hair as Hermione lathered her own. They showered in silence, kissing occasionally and smiling at one another when their eyes met. Neither liked to talk after love making; both were happy to just be together.

Draco washed Hermione's body for her, much to the protest of her pink cheeks and embarrassed glances, but he didn't care. If this woman was to be his future wife, he was going to shower her with all the love and affection he had in his body. He wanted her to always want to be with him; to never doubt what she had started by being with him, even if it had started on a farce. Hermione rinsed off her body as Draco quickly lathered his own and joined her under the water. Once they were both clean and soap-free, Hermione turned off the tap and took the fluffy towels from the towel rack next to the shower. She wrapped one firmly around her torso and handed the other to Draco who used it to dry his hair before wrapping it around his hips.

"I feel like I'm already married," Draco said suddenly as Hermione ran a brush through her hair and got out her toothbrush and toothpaste.

"Is that a bad thing?" Hermione said, turning from the counter. Her toothbrush was poised in her hands awaiting its daring adventure into her mouth to clean her shiny white teeth.

Draco smiled at Hermione as he made his way closer to her. He pinned her to the counter where her toothbrush clattered onto the marble countertop forgotten.

"No," he whispered. "As corny as it sounds, it's the best feeling in the world."

"I don't think it sounds very corny…" Hermione said shyly. Draco captured her mouth in his and lifted her up, her legs automatically wrapping around his waist. He let their towels fall to the ground as he led the way out of the bathroom and to the bed. Soft moonlight lit the room in an uneartheral glow.

"What's with all the talking, Hermione? I thought there was a no-talking-in-the-bathroom truce going on?" Draco said teasingly referring to their earlier times in the girls dormitories in Gryffindor Tower. Hermione giggled and relaxed into the bed, allowing Draco to take over her mind, body and soul.

"**You're the honey and the moon  
That lights  
Up my night"**

**-Joseph Arthur-**

**-Honey and the Moon-**


	11. Make Love

**A/N. Sorry that the postings have been so few and far between. That huge arctic drift made it to South Texas and we've been experiencing our first ice/snow days. Pathetic, I know… but most of us have never even seen snow to begin with, myself included, so this is a BIG thing!! Plus, I've had tremendous writers block AGAIN!**

**You know what to do! R&R!**

Chapter Eleven: Make L♥VE Mandatory

"Miss Granger?" A sing-song voice called to her. Hermione mumbled under her breath, and draped an arm across her head, blocking out the noise around her. "Time to wake up, Miss Granger…"

A finger poked her bushy head. Hermione angrily swatted at it, her head still down and eyes closed.

"Leave me alone!" Hermione said quite loudly. There was a collective gasp around the once silent room. Confused, Hermione opened her eyes and was graced with the side view of Ron. Since when did Ron sleep in her room? Since never, that's when. Hermione's eyebrows furrowed together as she slowly raised her head. "Oops."

Professor Snape had his arms crossed and quite possibly the most evil smirk on his face.

"You could say that again, Miss Granger," Snape said. He uncrossed his arms and leaned forward placing his hands on the worn chemistry table. Hermione leaned back slightly. Snape smelt like garlic… Not a nice smell when mixed with potion fumes. "I think as punishment for sleeping in my class you will have detention. What will Dumbledore say? His Head Girl having detention in her first week? Tsk, tsk. Even _I _expected more of you."

Hermione's head dipped and she stared at her scuffed Mary Jane's. She could almost feel Draco's penetrating gaze on the both of them. She hoped he didn't do anything stupid…

"Now, as I was saying, before Miss Granger so rudely fell asleep in my class…" Snape said, turning on his heel and walking to the front of the room. Hermione's head felt heavy as she slouched in her seat, a major no-no in her book, and stared at her blank note-taking parchment. What would people think if they saw this?

She was about to cry when out of no where something hit her in the back of the head. Turning suddenly, Hermione saw Draco's eyes on her, the grey irises intense. Looking down, Hermione noticed the ball of parchment and quickly picked it up, turning in her seat and facing forward before Snape could punish her for something else. Hermione noticed Ron looking at her quizzically. She rolled her fingers around the balled up parchment and gazed back at him with slight confusion on her features. Sighing and raising a skeptic eyebrow, Ron turned forward and began to copy down the potion and ingredients Snape was giving them.

When it was safe, Hermione unrolled the note and scanned Draco's neat script.

_H.-_

_Why did you have to fall asleep? He had just given detention to Zabini and now he's most likely going to make you both serve it together! I really hate that man sometimes… I think he's out to give me a hernia._

_-D._

Hermione snorted and rolled the parchment back into a ball. The entirety of the class turned simultaneously and looked at her, Professor Snape included.

"What is it that's so funny, Miss Granger?" Snape's silky voice asked.

"Nothing, sir."

"Then, pray tell, why are you laughing?"

"No reason. I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again," Hermione said, dropping the note into her robes pocket.

"No," Snape said. "It won't. I was only going to assign you one night's detention, but now that you have disrupted my class for a _second_ time, I see that more action is required. See me after class, along with you Zabini."

Hermione felt her heart sink. She glanced over at Zabini to find him staring at her. His aqua eyes bore a hole into her body, searching for anything that could be used against her. Oh, how she wished now that she had made Harry teach her legilimens before he died.

Harry being dead still had a strange ring to it. He was The-Boy-Who-Lived. How could someone of such 'great importance' die? It just seemed improbable.

Even though Hermione wished she didn't, she missed Harry. He had been after all, one of her best friends, and though he had been selfish and taken her virginity, she hadn't exactly told him to stop, now had she? Hermione's eyes glazed over as she pondered that night, and her cheeks grew warm with embarrassment at some of the memories she had of Harry touching her. Sexual occurrences with Draco were different. They were mutual. But with Harry they had been… awkward. There were parts she refused to even think of, and when they slipped unceremoniously into her mind, Hermione's cheeks grew red with discomfort and her movements became haphazard and jittery. Draco had noticed these occurrences, and noted that they were becoming more and more frequent almost as though there were something forcing the memories into her minds eye.

At the end of the period, Hermione gathered all her things together and walked up the aisle towards Snape's desk. She could sense Zabini behind her; she could feel his eyes on the back of her head. Self-consciously, Hermione ran a hand through her bushy hair, smoothing it slightly with her fingers.

Snape was beyond upset. What it was that Zabini had done was unbeknownst to Hermione, but whatever it was, was more angering to Snape than even Hermione sleeping in class. The mere fact that he was a Slytherin with detention was enough to explain that what he had done was bad.

"The both of you will work tonight in the Trophy Room. You will polish the trophies and awards by hand the Muggle way until _I_ am satisfied with what you have done," Snape said, writing on a slip of paper what of Hermione and Blaise was expected. "You are to report to me, here, after dinner right at seven thirty. Understand? Good; now get out."

♥

It's whenever we want time to stop and never reach a certain moment in our lives that the fates decide against it and place our day in fast forward. In the hours following Snape's class and her punishment of detention, Hermione spent them wishing that time would somehow, magically skip the night and she'd wake up to tomorrow morning.

Fate was not on her side.

No, matter of fact, the time flew by in the way Muggle children wished for their Friday last period class to fly by rather than tick by like molasses in winter. Sooner than Hermione was comfortable with, dinner was over and she and Draco were leaving the Great Hall along with the other students.

The student body still wasn't used to Hermione and Draco dating, let alone seeing them kissing in the hall. Which was why when Draco bent down and kissed Hermione square on the lips, there was a collective intake of breath throughout the population; mostly it was the girls.

True the women of Hogwarts were rather peeved that resident hottie, Draco Malfoy, had gone for typical bookworm, Hermione Granger. There were many rumors that Hermione had placed Draco under a spell, or vice versa. Of course, the smarter of these rumor spreaders said "Why in the world would Draco Malfoy place a spell on Hermione Granger?" To which the reply was simple, "To copy her homework."

No, the rumors aren't true. No matter how much the female population wanted them to be.

"I'll be waiting upstairs, Love," Draco said, touching Hermione's cheek lightly.

Hermione smiled and kissed him again quickly. "I'll come running."

"You better be running…"

Draco smiled at Hermione and then backed away, watching Hermione as she turned and left towards the dungeons.

"Be safe, Hermione…"

♥

Two hours later, Hermione and Zabini were tackling the trophies of long dead students. There were some medals even from when the school had first opened; and they looked like they hadn't been cleaned since then either. Lucky for Hermione, being a Muggle born had its ups, alongside its downs. Not only was she used to using her hands for manual labor, but she was resistant to what Zabini complained to be, arthritis. He was seventeen and complaining of arthritis.

"I can't do this anymore," Zabini said, breaking the silence. Hermione looked up at him, quirking an eyebrow and kept working.

Turning her attention back to the task at hand, Hermione said lowly, "Don't be such a baby, Zabini."

"What was that?" Blaise said.

Hermione looked up, confusion etched into her features. "I'm sorry?"

"What did you say, Mudblood?"

"I'm afraid that if you want to talk to me, you're going to have to do so civilly," Hermione said, setting aside a now gleaming shield and picking up a small medal.

"I don't have to say anything, do anything, or act civil towards you, Mudblood. There'll come a day when you realize that and come begging on your knees for forgiveness," Blaise said, his hands curling into fists. Hermione felt her wand bounce against her leg as she stood. Zabini stood as well, a rather large shield clutched in his right hand. Glancing at it, Hermione took two steps back so as to be out of its reach and stared at Zabini defiantly.

"I don't know who you think you are, but I will never, ever, come on bended knee towards you."

Blaise smirked and dropped to shield. It fell with a clatter on the stone floor. He body swayed rhythmically to an unknown beat towards Hermione who looked at him cautiously.

With every step Blaise took forward, Hermione took one back, till Zabini had her pressed against a wall with no escape.

"Tsk, tsk, now where will you go?" Blaise said. Hermione could feel the burning of tears at her eyes, but blinked them back. How she wished Draco was here; hell, she'd even take Professor Snape.

Hermione ducked her head out of the way when Blaise slapped a hand to the stone wall, right next to her head. He smirked at her reaction and bent in closer to her, pressing his hard body against her own. Hermione squirmed under his weight.

"I think, Hermione Granger, that you and I have a magnificent future together," Blaise said. He ran his long, tan fingers down the side of Hermione's face. "Just imagine it. The most powerful witch and wizard in the world, living happily together with all the other people of the world at our command. It would be lovely; it would be grand; it's your destiny, Hermione. Don't try to fight it."

Never in her life had Hermione hated Blaise Zabini quite like she did at this very moment. Her face was contorted with disgust; her body was reacting negatively to his pressed against hers. No, there was nothing about Blaise Zabini that was appealing, and at this very moment, she knew that what Draco had said of him being the next Dark Lord being true. He had practically said it to her just now!

"Get off of me!" Hermione said, shoving Zabini away with all her might. She walked back to the center of the room where they were supposed to be working and sat in the lone chair. Zabini followed her at a slower pace, rubbing his thumb thoughtfully across his bottom lip.

For the next hour until Snape returned to set them free, Hermione and Blaise worked on the trophies. Hermione was glad that she only had to work with him for a night, however long it was, and not for the rest of the week.

Snape's presence was more awe-inspiring than Hermione thought possible. If she were anymore grateful for him to be there, she would have kissed him. On the cheek of course…

"Mr. Zabini you are excused to your dormitories."

Blaise stood and left without a backward glance at the two. Hermione stood and brushed off her robes with a shaky hand.

"Miss Granger, I want you to be in my office tomorrow after supper, same time, for your next assignment," Snape drawled. Hermione shifted her weight, waiting to see if there were more. "You're excused."

The walk back to the Head's tower was uneventful, for which Hermione was thankful, and gracefully, without the presence of Zabini. He wasn't in the common room like Hermione feared when she reached the Head's tower. He wasn't lurking in the bathroom, and he wasn't in the hallway when she reached her room.

Matter of fact, if Hermione didn't know that he _had_ to be in the Head's tower, she would've thought otherwise.

Turning the handle to her room, Hermione stepped inside quickly before softly closing the door. In here, she was safe. In here, she had Draco.

Draco was sleeping on his stomach in the center of the bed, so no matter how Hermione tried to lie, she would have to wake him up. He probably planned it that way.

Changing quickly, Hermione discarded of her dirty robes and placed her wand on the bedside table. She brushed her teeth and splashed some cold water on her face, trying to calm her nerves. Zabini was going to make her have a nervous-breakdown by the time this was all done and over with.

Hermione walked quietly back into her room and tried to climb into the bed in such a way that Draco would stay asleep. She wasn't in the mood to talk about her detention tonight, if ever. She was sure that when she told Draco he would freak and try to murder Zabini.

Finally, Hermione gave up and shoved Draco, causing him to scoot across the mattress to the other side. He grunted and rolled over, staying asleep.

Curling onto her side, Hermione wrapped an arm around Draco's torso, placing her head in the crook of his shoulder and neck. She didn't sleep for the better part of three hours that night. It was the first of many.

**A/N**

**Oh, Wow!!!!! That took for furreakin' ever! Sorry, guys! Been busy with other things and had no idea what to write. Tell me what you think!**

**-Kels-**


	12. Destiny is What We Make of It

Chapter Twelve: Destiny

Dear Journal,

I have spent the better parts of my life wondering where the love hides. Is it deep within our souls, our bodies? Do we find perchance? Or does love come out of no where and barrel us over like the Headless Horseman, stealing away our senses till we are headless ourselves with the thoughts of our loves?

For the even greater part of my life, I have wished that maybe just maybe the world would be rid of all its evils, and we would be able to live in harmony with one another. How ever could that be? We are but vile creatures, destined to woo our best friend's wife, and kill others whilst their backs are turned.

How could I have let myself fall for the trap I was trained to fight against? All I have ever wanted was to be free… To grow old with a wife and large family, and to just be… happy. I know now that I shall never be happy.

Happiness is not made for those who sin… No, it is made for those sinners to see and wish they had not sinned. They are meant to live in a life of solitude and turmoil till the end of their days when they shall cease to exist. They, like myself, shall become but a name, and nothing more. A slight whisper in a dark night's wind.

I do not want her, at least not in the sense that most would think. I just do not want her to be happy. I want her to suffer, like me, and to be a light to guide me through a tunnel of darkness. It would kill him to see her at my side, whilst he must kneel before me. I shall make him kiss the hems of my robes and watch as she becomes my Dark Queen.

Together, we shall be unstoppable.

Our days together shall not be limited with fear of death, for we shall never die. The days will stretch before us endlessly, and we shall both suffer through the destruction the Fates have decided. It is our destiny.

You see, I was meant to become the next Dark Lord, and she was meant to be my queen. I have seen it foreshadowed by many a seer, and for their truthfulness of the future, I have granted them leverage. For their servitude, I shall give them life. I will be the God of my own world, and it will be miserable, I shall make sure of it.

What more is there anyway? We live; we die. If it were not for our lovers, our lives would be empty voids. Which is why, he cannot have her. We, he and I were raised to be voids, and he has gone against our teachings and fallen towards grace. Well, I shall not let it happen any longer. He shall die at the tip of her sword, and I shall watch, a smile to my lips, and this time, he shall be the one to know what it is like to suffer. He will know what a pain it is for me every morning waking to an empty bed, to fall asleep with but the company of myself. We were not meant to love; he will learn that, as will her.

I am but a selfish being living in a selfish world.

My plans for the future are not all that of misery and despair. I shall let them make a choice; the muggles will chose to either work, or they shall die. It is their place in this world, nothing more; nothing less.

There are at times when I wish that I had not become this. I feel as though I am watching my life spin out of control whilst I watch from the sidelines, unable to stop it. At times, I want to be the old me, the one who laughed and was best friends with truly good-at-heart people. I am now but a shadow of that boy. I'm afraid that I will never be him again, and that hurts, more than anyone can know.

Evil, you may think of me, but really, considering where I have come from, I am quite lovely.

I shall never treat my future queen in the same manner as my father, but neither shall she command me. Killing is not necessary, until it is _made_ necessary. I shall never be a murderer, but a dictator. Or are they one in the same? We may never know.

Forgive me for becoming this. Forgive me for destroying so many lives… Forgive me and remember me once I am gone. For no one shall remember me once these pages have disintegrated but yourself; you are my greatest ally and my only confidant. I hope you can live with that.

After all, it is your destiny…

Signed,

Blaise Zabini

With a sigh, Blaise placed the pages of parchment into a crisp envelope and sealed it with his family crest. He placed it alongside other things most valuable to him in the trunk and let the lid swing close with a loud bang. Running his fingers lightly over the worn cover, Blaise Zabini let his former self fade away, and allowed the newest creation of his being take flight. He was but a vessel; a vessel of evil…

**A/N**

**Ok, I know y'all wanted pages upon pages of work, BUT, I have been working really hard here to give you this, SO BE GRATEFUL! Haha! **

**You know the drill! R&R!**

**-Kels-**


	13. Goodnight, and Goodluck

**A/N Ok… It's been awhile, yes, I know that. You all probably think that I've died and vanished off the face of the Earth, but I am here to tell you, that I am alive and well, if not a bit preoccupied. I've been working on my novel and haven't exactly given much thought to _More Than a Feeling._ Sorry 'bout that. But here it is. Just so you know things ARE going to change dramatically from this point onward, but NEVER FEAR! I shall make it lovey-dovey again before the story ends. Which is coming VERY soon… I hope… **

**Disclaimer: Not mine!**

Chapter Thirteen: Hate is a Strong Word, but I Really Don't Like You

It was over the next couple of weeks that Hermione noticed a steady difference in Draco. He didn't seem to want to be near her; to touch her and love on her like he had in the past. Not that she didn't act the same way. They only saw each other in the common room, at night when they fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed and in the Great Hall where they stilled played the act of Death-Eater-turned-good for the school. And the student body noticed the difference as well. At times, Hermione would sit herself at Gryffindor table, and eat with Ron and Ginny, and when Draco arrived, he would merely glance at her before going to sit at the Slytherin table next to Blaise. Things were complicated in paradise they were both about to find out.

Hermione served her detentions, along with Blaise Zabini, who after having had served his first one, got himself into more trouble so as to have another couple detentions. Snape didn't know what was going on with the three students. It was like they were involved in some sort of illicit love triangle.

In their detentions, Blaise didn't talk to her; she didn't talk to him. They had formed a steady agreement to ignore one another. But try as she may, Hermione couldn't help but wish that Blaise _would_ talk to her. She grew disgusted with herself, pleading that the feelings would just go away, like she wanted. She began to look at Draco and see Blaise. Whenever they, Hermione and Blaise brushed arms, she would feel a warming sensation course through her body, something she was sad to note, she didn't feel with Draco, not anymore. It was almost as though something, or _someone_, was causing her heart to grow cold towards Draco, and warm towards… Blaise…

Draco and Hermione sat together at class; they walked through the halls together; they ate together; they just didn't _feel_ together anymore.

♥

_Two Weeks Before…_

Blaise smiled as he finished his potion. He separated the steaming liquid into two separate vials and placed a stopper in each of them before setting them aside. With a wave of his wand, the bubbling cauldron and steamy liquid disappeared. The air in his room was warm; he had long ago unbuttoned the top two buttons on his white oxford and rolled up the sleeves, but still the perspiration beaded on his brow and fell down his back in little rivulets.

He placed the vials on his bedside table so he would not forget them in the morning and striped of his clothing before falling into his bed. His master plan was finally starting to come together. Tomorrow in potions he would open the vials near the couple and let the steam permeate through their potion's smoke and into their systems. It was a masterful plan; one he had been researching for the better part of a month. Blaise had even made it to where others, namely himself, wouldn't be affected! It was bloody brilliant!

Smiling to himself, Blaise curled into the fetal position and buried his face in his pillow as the laughter escaped his lips. He laughed and laughed at the absurdity of it all. Hermione Granger would never know what hit her!

That night, Blaise Zabini fell asleep a troubled boy, and woke the next morning a very deranged and powerful man.

♥

_Present. Two days after Potions class…_

Hermione blinked open her eyes; the sun was shining bright through the curtains. Reaching on instinct to her right where Draco usually slept, Hermione groped through empty air to try to touch his skin. She turned her head and saw that, save herself, her bed was empty. She sighed and looked over to see the bathroom door open and the inside of the room dark. Draco wasn't in the bathroom. Hermione tried to recall if he had said anything about having to leave early, but then remembered that they didn't talk to night before.

Throwing the covers aside, Hermione swung her legs over the side of the bed and slipped her feet into her slippers. She hated to admit it, but as she walked across the wooden floors of her room, Hermione found that she wasn't as worried as to where Draco could be, not as much as she should be. Even as she got into the shower and began to wash, she couldn't keep her mind on Draco and their relationship. All she could think about was- No. She wasn't going to be drawn in quite so easily.

Finishing her shower, Hermione turned off the facet and wrapped one of her fluffy towels about her body. Water dripped to the floor, creating a trail of puddles from the shower to the counter. Hermione looked at her steamy reflection, raking her fingers through her wet curls, pulling out tangles and smoothing the ends which were already starting to frizz. She felt different today; she wanted to look different today. Hermione grasped her wand in her hand and said a spell while pointing the stick at her wet hair. Instantly the locks were dried. With a complicated wand movement, she straightened sections of her hair at a time till her whole head was full of straight and sleek tendrils of brown hair. Hermione smiled and then immediately frowned. Parting her lips, Hermione stared at her teeth before making a face and closing her mouth. She pointed her wand at her closed lips and blinked past the bright light that issued from her wand tip. With a sigh she parted her lips again and smiled with satisfaction at her new, bright white teeth. Something inside of her clicked and a vainer Hermione was unleashed. She wanted to look good, not for Draco, but for all the other guys in the school, namely a certain Slytherin with black hair and blue eyes.

Stepping out into her room, Hermione pulled open the doors to her wardrobe and began to rummage through her clothes. A quick glance at the clock informed her that she had about twenty minutes before she had to be down in the Great Hall for breakfast. Hermione pulled a pair of fitted, dark blue jeans off one of the racks and a pair of lacy panties. She slipped the underwear on and then the jeans, raising an eyebrow at the way the jeans gripped her legs like second-skin. "I should've worn these ages ago…" Hermione said returning to her wardrobe and pulling a black, lacy bra from a hanger. Truth be told, the set had been a gift from Draco, and she'd never worn them till now. She put the bra on and marveled at the way it enhanced her cleavage. Hell, now she had cleavage! She pulled out one her old oxford button downs and pulled it on, loving the way it was at least two sizes too small.

The old Hermione screamed and pounded at the iron gates the new Hermione had put her behind. The new Hermione simply ignored her and buttoned up her shirt, leaving the top three unbuttoned. She picked out a set of black boots with a pointed toe and almost-not-so-conservative heel and slipped them one, zipping the zipper up over her calf before rolling her jeans back down over her boot legs.

Quickly she applied some black eye shadow to her bottom parts of her upper lids along with some liner and mascara to enhance her long, thick lashes. She brushed some soft pink blush lightly across her cheeks and slipped on some pale, nude-colored lip gloss before she grabbed her mandatory black school robe and left her room.

Once in the hallway she was met by Blaise, who gave her the once-over accompanied with a smirk before continuing on his way down to the Great Hall. Hermione followed a couple of paces behind him. She slid her arms in through her robe and left it open, grabbed her bag from the floor by the portrait entrance and meandered down the hall towards the hustle and bustle of the student body. She could see Blaise's head bobbing through the crowds just ahead of her and she hurried so as to not loose sight of him. Hermione couldn't explain it; she just wanted to have Blaise in her sight whenever possible. She wanted him to notice her. Maybe even comment on how good she looked.

As she made her way down the hall, Hermione noticed the strange looks she was receiving from the student body. Had their smart Head Girl gone insane?

Hermione wandered into the Great Hall and meandered over to the Slytherin table where she plopped down in an empty seat next to Draco and across from Blaise, who had arrived merely seconds before herself. Draco glanced at Hermione, turned back to his meal, and then openly stared.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're wearing?" Draco said, his voice low, but harsh. Hermione never wavered. She was still on a high from the thought of Blaise.

"Don't you like it?" Hermione said, sitting up a little straighter.

Draco peered at her body, and then at the too small oxford to her breasts. His voice was so low this time that Hermione nearly had to lean in to hear what he was saying. "Is that the bra I bought you? I thought that that was supposed to stay in our room!"

"Oh," Hermione said, picking up a slice of toast and dropping it onto her plate. "I think you should go back to the Slytherin dorms. I really never thought of it before but what if Professor Dumbledore finds out? My Head Girl's badge could be revoked."

Hermione buttered and put jam on her toast as she spoke, motioning with her hands as she did so.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about? You never cared what the bloody professor thought before! Why now?!" Draco nearly yelled, attracting the attention of the other occupants of the Hall. Hermione chose to ignore him.

Blaise watched with interest at the couple before him. He noticed the changes he had inflicted on Hermione; he saw the ones he had placed on Draco fading, as according to plan. It was a matter of time. He did have to say though, he never knew that by simply altering Hermione's thoughts into pleasing his own, that the new affect on the Head Girl would be to wear skimpy articles of clothing. It was kind of nice, something he should have done ages ago.

Draco couldn't believe what his eyes were telling his brain. There was a girl sitting next to him with the same hair, same eyes, same lips as Hermione, and yet it couldn't be her! His Hermione would never do this! She would never dress so… presumptuous and parade her body around for the male population. He could almost feel the effects it was having on the men of Hogwarts. He could feel them imagining her in their own fantasies; the good girl gone bad. And suddenly, Draco Malfoy felt sick. He had wasted the better part of a school year on a girl who had so many problems. He had given her his heart, his love and this was the way she repaid him? By parading herself about like a- like a whore?

"Hermione, what's wrong with you?" Draco asked, his eyebrows furrowed together. "What did I do?"

Hermione turned and looked at him, placed the last bite of toast in her mouth and licked the tiny gatherings of jelly from the corners of her lips. Taking her napkin in her hands, she wiped them clean and stood from the table. "It's what you couldn't do, Malfoy."

"What?" Draco asked. He felt the quietness of the crowd pressing in on him, and slowly but surely, he began to suffocate under it. "What do you mean?"

"We're through Draco Malfoy. I don't know what I was thinking by ever having had been with you," Hermione said. Her face was impassive, but her eyes were open pools of emotion. Her eyes were the old Hermione, the only portal to the outside world the new one allowed. And with that having had been said, Hermione turned full round and left the Great Hall. Draco watched her; the Great Hall watched Draco.

Blaise smiled evilly from his seat across the table. Maybe it was a bit sooner than expected, but now Hermione was free to claim as his own. He watched amused as Draco stood from the table, his legs wobbling beneath him.

"Hermione!" Draco called as he ran full fledge out of the Great Hall. As soon as the tip of his black cloak disappeared through the doors, the Hall erupted into a chorus of whispers. "Hermione, wait!"

Hermione turned from the top of the stairs, her long, straight hair swishing to the side. "What Malfoy?"

"Why?" Malfoy said jogging up the stairs towards her.

"We aren't in love; we're two teenagers who just happened to meet in a bathroom and think fell in love," Hermione said, crossing her arms indignantly. "We were nothing, Draco."

Though he wished they wouldn't tears welled at his eyes. He noticed Hermione's eyes; the chocolate colors swirling in a confusing kaleidoscope. One moment he saw his Hermione, the next he saw this new Hermione who crossed her arms over her nearly exposed chest and told him she'd never loved him. It was almost as though there were two Hermione's inside her one body, the other fighting for control. Draco didn't know this girl; he never had.

Draco Malfoy stood and watched the love of his life walk away from him, down the corridor and out of his existence. And surprisingly, it didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. At least, not yet.

♥

_Two Months Later…_

♥

Hermione Granger stretched and opened her eyes. Immediately, she felt the desire to do everything Blaise asked of her, which at the moment was to join him in the shower. Robotically she stood and left her bed, walking stiffly out of her room to the one across the hall. She opened the door and barely looked at the silk green bed sheets thrown haphazardly to the floor, as though Blaise had fallen, literally, out of bed that morning and into the black and white marbled bath.

The air was thick and steamy as Hermione entered, closing the door behind her. She removed each article of clothing letting them fall to a heap on the cool white marble floors.

As she neared the shower stall, a vision of the old her showering with Draco popped into her mind, and then quick as a flash, it was gone. Hermione shook her head as her feet propelled her body closer and closer to her demise. Every time that Blaise touched her, she felt like dying. His long tan fingers left her skin crawling and a sick feeling in her stomach. There was nothing in the world to free her though. Draco was gone. He barely acknowledged her, choosing only to make eye contact when it was purely accidental. Hermione saw a bit of her old self in those glances, a way for her inner, true self to stay alive, and strong enough to one day break free of Blaise. Her body acted like a puppet doing everything that Blaise wanted it too, and never without a second thought. If Blaise commanded it, Hermione's body would propel her off the Astronomy Tower without a second regard. Hermione was completely helpless in her struggles.

"Come here, Sweet," Blaise's voice said, muffled by the sound of the water. Hermione absolutely despised the name 'Sweet'.

Even though Hermione commanded her arms to do otherwise, they reached out and grasped the shower curtain in her hands and pulled them apart revealing Blaise in all his glory wet and waiting for her. Hermione forced her eyes, the only part of her she really had control of, to look directly at his face at all times. Blaise's hands reached through the steam and pulled Hermione's body into the shower. His lips grazed her shoulder and her neck as his hands roamed up and down her back.

"I've been thinking," Blaise said. He breathed deeply and exhaled in what was supposed to be a seducing manner across her ear. All it did was make Hermione's body cold with dread.

_So have I,_ Hermione thought, repulsed on the inside at Blaise's touches. _I think that you're a dick and you need to get another person to be your whore._

"I think we should get married," Blaise said, breathlessly as he kissed Hermione's body, letting his hands have free roam over her skin.

"What?" Hermione croaked her voice high. Apparently her body didn't quite agree with the thought either.

"You heard me; don't pretend otherwise," Blaise said, spreading Hermione's legs and lifting her against tiled wall.

"Please, I'm not in the mood right now," Hermione said, placing her hands on either one of Blaise's shoulders.

Blaise pulled away slightly, one hand under each of her thighs keeping Hermione suspended in the air. "Since when has it mattered if you're in the mood?"

"Well," Hermione said, her voice a little sarcastic. "That's the right way to get a girl to marry you."

"I don't have to get you to marry me, Hermione," Blaise said, smiling slightly. Hermione's eyes widened suspiciously. "I already own you! Don't you get it! You're mine! No one else's, and you will marry me!"

It was then that the other Hermione kicked in, the one that was controlled by Blaise. She touched his face and kissed his lips, pleasing him as the real Hermione kicked and screamed from behind the bars of her gilded cage. Every time Blaise touched her and "made love" to her, Hermione died a little more inside. She lost a certain semblance of the person she had once been fading until all that was left was a ghost, caught in a violent wind and being carried farther and farther away from all things normal.

♥

Draco ambled down the hall, steadying his bag close against his body so as not to hit anyone. He was about to begin his ascent up the stairs when a hand shot out of the dark shadows and pulled him into an alcove. His heavy bag fell to the floor with a loud _thud._

"Shh, Draco, please," a voice said. An eerily familiar voice at that.

Turning, Draco looked into the eyes of the girl he had once loved. Hermione had tears rolling down her cheeks in fat droplets. They clung to her mascara lidded lashes causing her under-eyes to be stained a faint black with each tear that fell. She had a vice like grip on his arm, keeping him close to her so he wouldn't get away.

Scoffing, Draco wrenched his arm away, giving Hermione a You're-Pathetic type of look before bending over to grasp his bag. Hermione fell to the floor, nearly throwing her body over his book bag.

"I need your help, Draco," Hermione said, tears falling all the faster down her face.

"Why would you need my help? Aren't you seeing Zabini now?" Draco said, pushing her away and taking his bag strap in his hands. "Go to him if it's so bloody important."

"But it's about him!" Hermione said, rushing up to block his path as he made to leave. Draco sighed and crossed his arms, leaning his weight on his left leg. "Draco, you have to believe me, I never- I never meant to say those things I did! He made me! He did something to us! I could only think what he wanted me to think, and now I have to do everything he tells me too."

"And?" Draco said shrugging his shoulders. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"Help me, please!" Hermione cried in desperation. The halls were beginning to grow empty; class was starting soon. "He's forcing me to marry him! Draco, you don't understand what he's going to do to everyone! To muggles and wizards he thinks has betrayed him! You have to get away! Far, far away, and I want to go with you!"

"Ok," Draco said, dropping his bag. He placed a hand on either one of Hermione's shoulders and bent so that they were eye level. "I'm not going anywhere, especially not with you. And if what you said is true, than how do I know that Zabini isn't doing this right now to place me in a trap."

"If Zabini were controlling me right now, Draco, I wouldn't be crying. I wouldn't be allowing you to touch me; your touch burns him. When he controls me, he can _feel_ everything that I feel. The rush of my heart as I think of you. I still love you; he's just making me tell you that I don't. You have to believe me, Draco." Hermione said. She fell to her knees, wrapping her arms about his legs and pressing the side of her face against his knees. "Please, don't leave me with him! Don't let him touch me again!"

Draco stumbled backwards, out of Hermione's grasp. "Get off me, Mudblood!" Hermione froze, her tears falling with renewed vigor. "I don't believe you! What you're saying and how you're acting isn't making any sense!"

For the second time, Draco picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He side-stepped Hermione who was wailing into her arms, a crumpled heap on the floor and left the alcove. He continued up the stairs into Transfiguration where he tried to forget about Hermione, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't help but shake those nagging feeling's he had worked so hard to be rid of. Perhaps she really was telling the truth. Draco sighed for what felt like the millionth time and flicked his wand at the teapot, successfully turning it into a magnolia tree and then a Labrador puppy as was instructed on his first tries. Life was too short to think about past loves and grievances.

♥

Hermione sniffled and stood up straight on the balcony's edge. In the few free moments she had had of Blaise Zabini, Hermione had made up her mind. She was no one's property, and damn whatever soul thought otherwise. She pulled the note out of her pocket and placed it on the ledge along with her wand to hold it down. Tears poured out of her eyes as she resumed her previous position, balancing with her hands pressed into the balcony's roof-and-beam supports. The wind blew, and Hermione thought of all the things she had wanted to do. How she'd wanted to marry Draco Malfoy and mother his children. How she wanted a free world without prejudice. And now as she opened her eyes and breathed deeply, she knew she was free.

With a smile on her face, Hermione Granger spread her arms wide and leaned forward, tilting her weight over the balcony. The pull of gravity was almost like that of a Portkey. Before she knew it she was falling off the Astronomy Tower, closer and closer to Black Lake. She pressed her eyes closed and inhaled deeply before sighing and curling into herself, preparing for the bone-crushing impact with the water. This was the end; this was what freedom felt like…

♥

Dumbledore opened the note and placed the mahogany wand on his desk. The first year that had brought this to him was panting, sitting in one of winged back chairs like he owned the place.

"Got any water?" the student asked. Dumbledore conjured up a glass and sent the child on his way with many thanks.

With unsteady fingers, Dumbledore opened the letter and read what was presumably Hermione's last words.

_Dear All,_

_Hello and Goodbye. I want to say that while I was alive, I lived my life, and I was controlled in my life. I loved with my true heart the brief moments that love was mine to have and after it was gone, I yearned for him whole-heartedly. _

_Please forgive me for what I have done. I am no ones property, nor will I ever pretend to be. Know that my decisions have been made clearly of my own free will and no one is to be of blame of this but myself._

_I loved you Draco Malfoy, and I still do…_

_Sincerely, _

_Hermione E. Granger_

**A/N**

**Wow… That was one of the longest chapters I've ever written. OK, don't flame me for what I wrote. Just remember what I said about lovey-doveyness… **

**R&R**

♥**Kels**


	14. More Than a Feeling

**A/N Well mon amies, this is the end! Please review and thanks to all of you who faithfully reviewed from the beginning!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine!**

Chapter Fourteen: More Than a Feeling

_18 months later…_

"Why did you do it, Miss Granger?"

"Tell me, Doctor, have you ever been in love?"

"This is not about me, Miss Granger. This is about you. Now, please, answer me this. Why did you attempt to commit suicide not only once, but twice?"

I gnawed on my bottom lip, working it between my top and bottom teeth. I picked at a hole in my hospital gown and tugged at my shorn hair.

"Miss Granger?"

Looking up, I caught sight of myself in the lone mirror magically sealed to the wall. My eyes looked dead; my hair was shorn so short, I looked like a Holocaust victim. There were dark circles around my somber brown eyes. I stood and walked slowly over to the mirror. "You look more beautiful every time I see you, dear," the mirror said in a wheezy voice. The doctor's eyes followed me as I raised a hand to the glass and touched my reflection.

"I guess…" Here is where I faltered. I knew the reasons, and for having voiced them, I was placed in St. Mungo's Mental Institution.

"You can tell me, Miss Granger," The doctor said. He shifted his weight in the stiff metal chair, adjusting his clipboard and rubbery pencil in his hand before continuing to look at me. "I'm here to help, you know that right?"

I didn't answer. How could he ever understand? He was most likely married to an old woman who had fallen in love with a free-spirited boy who after age and adults worldly advice had died only to be replaced with this insensitive shell. His children more than likely preferred it when they visited and stayed in the kitchen while he watched football on the tube.

"I wanted to be with him," I said finally.

"Him?" The doctor asked, scribbling something, most likely INSANE in capitol letters across my bill of health.

"Yes, him. Draco, I wanted to be with Draco." I said turning away from the mirror and chewing on my thumb nail.

"And what happened to Draco, Miss Granger?"

"Oh, don't be an asshole, doc. You and I both know what happened to Draco Malfoy. He died, trying to save what little honor I had left."

"And so you attempted suicide?"

I pulled at my hair in frustration. "You don't get it do you?"

"Obviously not, Miss Granger." The doctor said thoughtfully, frowning slightly and reclining in his chair, folding his short legs at the knee.

I collapsed onto a worn couch, pulling my knees up to my chin in the process. "He died because of me! I broke his heart, I tainted what good there was in him and in the end, he died!"

"How did he die, Miss Granger?"

God, this doctor was stupid. I swallowed heavily over the lump in my throat and leaned my head back, blinking ferociously against the tears that were welling up in my eyes. One leaked out the corner, falling only to the crest of my cheek before it was angrily wiped away.

"It was right after," I began, swallowing again. "It was right after my first attempt. Earlier that day, I had tried to talk to him, begging him for help-"

"Why were you begging him for help?"

"Blaise was going to make me marry him," I said softly avoiding eye contact.

"Please, continue."

"He rejected me. He called me a Mudblood and basically called me a liar. He either couldn't or wouldn't believe me. Either way, somehow, I got free of Blaise. I was able to do as I pleased for the first time in months! I was free! But I wasn't! Soon, Blaise would find out, and I would be back in my void body with nothing but a name and a high status because he thought I was smart. He wanted unstoppable children," I said the last part in a whisper. The old doctor squinted and pushed the bridge of his glasses higher on his nose. "When I jumped, something happened. I didn't die! I was supposed to die! God, I _wanted_ to die!"

Tears welled in my eyes, blinding my vision until I had to blink, and then they fell unceremoniously down my cheeks. My nose became runny, and I wiped the back of my hand across my face. I coughed and sputtered until the grey haired man conjured me a tissue. I blew my nose and used my hospital gown to wipe away my tears.

"What happened next, Miss Granger?"

"Dumbledore came and called you guys and I was transported here. Draco heard and came to visit me. I couldn't speak or see anything then, I was still technically, brain dead; Ginny told me about him and how he didn't leave me side for three days," Here I smiled, imagining Draco's lovely face. Then my smile faded. "But stupid, fucking Blaise Zabini had to come and make everything even more screwed up than it already was. He came to the hospital at the same time that Draco was there and tried to get me to his home. Apparently he wanted me to be even more under his control and that was better at happening under his watchful eye."

I scoffed. "Like Blaise Zabini ever gave a shit about me."

"Why would Mr. Zabini want you to be under his eye?"

"I told you, weren't you listening? He wanted my children. Together we would've had incredibly smart and powerful children," I looked up to the little window encased in bars. The sun was shinning; birds would flit past every now and then, marring its beauty. "We would have been unstoppable."

"Yes, you said that, Miss Granger."

"No," I said. "I said, Blaise wanted our children because they would be unstoppable."

The doctor huffed and became sulky. I smirked in a very Malfoy-ish manner.

"Well," I said, continuing my story on my own. "After that, Malfoy went into a jealous rage, I guess that's what you can call it. He and Blaise battled it out, magically and the muggle way, and Malfoy, or so I heard, had the upper hand at first, but then things turned nasty and Zabini started to use the Dark Arts. Somehow or another, Malfoy was stabbed through the heart, with my wand. Somehow, Zabini got it away from Dumbledore. I could feel the surge of energy coursing through my body as he died! I knew when it happened, the moment it happened, and where was I? I was confined to a fucking hospital bed! And then placed under your care! My God, it's as simple as the fact that I wanted to save he who was trying to save me! I killed him!"

Spittle flew from my lips. My adrenaline was coursing through my veins. My heart thudded painfully in my chest.

"So, is this what led up to your second attempt?" The doctor sounded tired and worn out.

My vision clouded over with the sudden memories of my second attempt. The sharp scalpel, the red blood as it fell from my arms to the floor. I remember the jagged lines I had made in my skin, the abrupt coolness I had felt on my fingers and the warmness leaving my body as I blacked out. They said that I had died, and if it weren't for the medical teams fast actions, I would have been unreachable. They wouldn't have had been able to bring me back. But I didn't want to come back.

"Yes," I whispered.

The old doctor shifted yet again in his chair. He removed his glasses and wiped them clean on his sweater vest.

"Hermione Granger, could you honestly be labeled as suicidal?"

"Yes, I want to die."

"Would you kill yourself?"

"Only to be with Him again."

"Who is 'him'?"

"Draco Malfoy. I love him still you know."

My voice was still in a whisper through all the questions the doctor asked.

"Hermione Granger, I'm labeling you a hazard to not only others but yourself. You shall be placed in solitary confinement; you will be placed in a death-proof room, you-"

"You can't keep me from dying, Doc."

"Pardon?"

"One way or another, I will die, whether it be by my own hand, someone else's or the natural way," I said. My eyes focused on the old man. Slowly, I stood from the couch and knelt before the doctor. "I have a couple of questions."

The doctor was confused. "Ok."

"Are there any security devices of any kind in this room? Voice recordings? Video tapes?"

"Even if there were, why would I tell you?"

I licked my dry lips and clutched at the doctors arm. "Please, listen to me."

The old man, tried to get away from me. I hung on tighter. "If your wife was left, yearning for you after your death, would you want her to be locked up in a mental asylum? No, you'd want her to be happy, and free. You'd want her to be with you, right?"

"Yes," The Doctor said. "I suppose so… Where are you going with this?"

"Kill me."

"What?!" The doctor jumped up out of his seat. "I'm calling security!"

"No!" I said, jumping up and following him. Tears cascaded down my face. "Please, Doctor! Listen to me, and I mean, really listen to me. I want you to kill me, or I will kill myself."

"I'm not killing you, and while you're in this hospital, you're not killing yourself."

"If I hadn't been here the second time I would have succeeded and then right now, you could be sitting at your kitchen table, eating dinner with your lovely wife," I said, grasping his hands in my own. I glanced down and saw what it was that I was looking for, sitting in his left pocket, the end pointing out into the open. Quickly I looked back up at the doctor.

His face was confused. "Miss Granger, you keep mentioning a wife of mine in every one of our sessions, but," he held out his left hand. "I'm not married."

"I know," I said, lashing out and snatching the wand from his pocket. "I knew that all along. I'm not as crazy as everyone says I am. I'm just in love- I want that love back, why can't you people see that?"

The doctor raised his hands in surrender. He backed up against the wall, hugging the cold tile as he eased his way back towards the door. "Please, don't hurt me."

"I don't plan on it." I said.

I raised the wand to my throat, opening and closing my eyes softly and swiftly, my gaze never leaving the direction of the doctor. He gripped the clip board tightly in his right hand, which was still raised in the air, his left groped for the handle. I watched all of this with amusement.

"Why do you want to die for love, Miss Granger? All love is, is a feeling. It's a rush of chemical imbalances caused by humanly attraction," The doctor said. I scrunched my eyebrows together with both confusion and anger. "You're throwing your life away!"

Outside in the hall was the sound of feet pounding on the door. Quickly, I placed a couple more locking charms on the door.

"What life, Doc.? The life of looking through a barred window with a straight jacket on, wishing that I were dead? Passing the days by with the blinks of an eye, one that can no longer see beauty, for beauty does not see it? Do not judge me, Doctor, at least I have loved," I said, wrapping my fingers more securely around the wand handle.

"I've already told you! Miss Granger, all those things you were feeling weren't real!" Spit gathered at the corners of the doctors mouth. It was the most emotional the old man had been in a while. "They're nothing more than a FEELING!"

"No," I said my voice grave. "It was more than a feeing."

The last thing I remember was a flash of green light and the sound of whooshing air rushing into my ears and out of my lungs.

♥

"Hermione?"

I turned and blinked open my eyes. All around me were trees, willow trees to be exact. I quickly glanced around taking in my surroundings before turning my attention back to the man in front of me.

"Hermione, are you real?" He said. His grey eyes looked pained.

I took three steps closer to him so that our bodies were almost touching. "I think the question is, are you real?"

"I've been waiting for you," He said, taking the one step that filled the gap between us. Tentatively, he reached out and fingered my newly long tresses. I glanced down at my body, surprised to see a yellow sundress, Draco's favorite, instead of my hospital gown. I looked at my hands and wrists; gone were the hospitals bracelets and on my left ring finger was Draco's engagement ring that I'd given back to him when we broke up. I smiled. "I missed you more than you know."

"Well, I would've been here sooner if it weren't for those damned mediwizards!" I joked. Draco smiled. He pulled me into a hug; I breathed deeply the smell of his cologne, soft, subtle, musky and clean all in one. "I'm sorry."

Draco pulled away, "No, I'm sorry! I should've believed you when you came to me that day in the school. I should've listened and beat Zabini to a pulp."

"It doesn't matter anymore," I said softly. "We're together now, and that's all we should care about!"

"I love you, Hermione, I'll never let you go again, I swear it," Draco said. Immediately afterwards, he placed a soft kiss on my lips.

I smiled and kissed him back more passionately.

"You've no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say that, Draco."

**Fin**

**A/N Tell me what you thought of it. And I'll still be writing, so expect something more from me! Thanks again to everyone whose read faithfully and reviewed faithfully! And now, one last time, R&R!**


End file.
